ettolrahc

Please may someone correct this for me?

I don't know how you feel.

But, I know your pain is so real.

I can see that you hurt.

So much torment in your heart.

But, life is better with you.

I hope that you see it too.

Although, it may feel dark,

these feelings will disembark.

We have more joy to come,

including fun in the sun.

But with four continents to go,

we still need to face the snow.

Thus, remember this Jo;

That when you're feeling low,

we will battle it together,

as you're my best buddy forever and ever. 

Comments4

  • Lorna

    You've done your friend proud and you should definitely share this with Jo..... this is heartfelt.... keep writing!

  • orchidee

    Well, nothing wrong with this. Should be a help to your friend. :)
    If it was less serious, I would say 'All ya gotta feel suicidal about is me singing - everyone does!' lol.

  • peto

    It's from the heart Charlotte
    Couldn't ask for more than that

  • Goldfinch60

    Very good words Charlotte, your friend should read these words and they will help Jo to go forward in joy as Jo has you for a very good friend.

    There is nothing wrong with the grammar in your poem.

    Andy



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