midnight drive

What to do When You’re Alone Again

Change your lock screen

Change your style

Forget what sleep feels like

Because you can’t sleep with cold sides

And this pain cuts like a knife

The pain of knowing you’re no longer a part of her life

It feels like shit. I probably won’t die,

But I won’t feel alive

At least for now, at least for a while

 

Change your bedsheets, because it still holds her shape.

Change your name because it’s what she used to call you.

Change everything because it’s all mundane.

Change the silence because it’s filling a void she left when she disappeared.

 

Don’t kill yourself because that light at the end of the tunnel is a lie. That razor in your bathroom that nicks you when you shave, don’t take it. Throw it out. Because it’s just not worth it.

You won’t forget her when you’re dead.

God doesn’t want you in heaven if your heart is still in her head.

 

Watch the sea, watch the sky. Pray for a change and feel the wind on your skin. Nothing matters past the lie you tell yourself that “you’re fine”. It’s a lie.

It’s okay not to be okay.

Don’t think about how peaceful she looks when she’s asleep. Because she can’t hurt you, apart from in her dreams.

Comments1

  • jarcher54

    I appreciate the line You won't forget her when you are dead. Suicide seems like a huge gesture, an earth-changing act, to the one contemplating it. But is the ultimate disempowerment, concession to one's nemesis, and by making oneself nothing one does nothing.

    • midnight drive

      This is the exact message I was trying to convey. I’m glad it was understood:)

      • jarcher54

        Well done and clear enough for poetry, which is inherently ambiguous and capable of multiple interpretations... thanks for your work.



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