Perfect Women

Ezekiel Ian Hitt

I swear it, I swear it true

I will never find a woman as flawless as you.

 

I looked you in your eyes oh your perfect eyes 

the shades of brown jade pierced me as I looked among you and died. 

 

your caramel skin marks my soul weak and useless

how may I see such beauty and find my heart whole?

 

I immediately saw my second half in you.

blackness crept unto my inner being and marked me empty. 

 

 

  • Author: Ezekiel Ian Hitt (Offline Offline)
  • Published: November 30th, 2020 00:22
  • Comment from author about the poem: Hey guys first poem lol. any feedback helps
  • Category: Love
  • Views: 26
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Comments4

  • ANGELA & BRIAN

    BRIAN HERE ~ GOOD MORNING EZEKIEL ~ Welcome to MPS ! It is a great site and operates by READING & COMMENTING on each others POEMS ~ OK ! Please check our SITE ~ Thanks.
    Thanks for your first POEM. A sincere Love Poem ~ nicely presented & nicely worded ! I can empathise with you ! That just how I feel about ANGELA ! We have been married 8 months and hope to start our FAMILY as soon as this PANDEMIC has passed ~ AMEN !

    Blessings & Peace to You & Yours
    Love ANGELA & BRIAN 💛💛💛

  • Goldfinch60

    Good loving words Ezekiel.

    Welcome to MPS.

  • orchidee

    Good write Ezekiel.

  • RDS

    Hi Ezekiel, a nice potent rhythm of love budding, hope to read more in the future.
    My guess is that most of the friendly souls here can read beyond a typo here and there but to really honour your effort read it back looking for where the meaning escapes on a misplaced word. Someone might be put off from reading beyond an error...is it error who can tell...but I feel
    "... blackness crept unto my enter/entire being and marked me empty..."
    needs tweaking but lucky it was right on the last line! Feel free to ignore my ignorance if you were looking to say something different.
    I read, hopefully as you wrote it, at a nice unhurried tempo that really matched the tone of thought. Thanks
    J

    • Ezekiel Ian Hitt

      oh i meant to say inner. I cant believe I didn't catch that! haha thanks!

      • RDS

        And that makes perfect sense my friend. Enjoy your stay!
        J



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