Everything I wanted

I got everything I wanted

When I say that I'm not talking about things worth in gold

As I do have those things too 

Life is all to heavy to get to enjoy such blessings

To be able to truly enjoy life

All due to me

I once prayed to never cry 

To die faster then I will ever know

NOW

I never know if I will wake up with lungs filled with air

I prayed to God when I was younger

I never took him seriously 

Never found the Lord

My god as real

Now proven

He has blessed me with what I asked for

And now I feel guilty to ask if I can give it back

I deserve all that is to come

I deserve the pain I have to swollow

I deserve to have to count my tears

I deserve to lose my breathe

I deserve to not function as one should

All that he has given me as a lesson

I deserve it

I should be thankful 

As I am for I have learned to not take things for granted

As I do still fall

And my mind still gets foggy

Deep inside there is one true feeling 

That is grateful for all the days I've lived

I deserve to have to be cautious to whom I love

To be cautious of relationships

Because the man I will love can make me cry

Can easily end my life

As I am fragile God has also made me strong

My fear is that no one will be there to get my inhaler When I can't reach it

As when it comes to my mental health 

No one will be there to stop the thing that has taken over my body from doing a gravely mistake

I got everything I asked for 

Now I know a God one I'll never hate

But fear in such a good loving way

He gave me all that I have asked for that was taken for granted

And gave me the gift of knowing him

Understanding him

He may not be my next door neighbor 

But he is always above me 

And I will forever reach 

For I will forever deserve what was given until taken away

But I will never ask if I can give it back

For it is me who asked for it the very first time

He truly is a God and I truly got

Everything I wanted

Copyright ©2021 Tia Davis. All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written consent of the author or publisher. All my poetry is copyrighted and stored in the author's base. All material subject to Copyright Infringement laws Section 512(c)(3) of the U.S. Copyright Act, 17 U.S.C. S512(c)(3), Tia Davis.