Joe Marcello

OLD FAITHFUL

Never dismiss the thoughts of the elderly 

For their words and wisdom you can trust 

Because even a mop that is never used 

Will still continue to collect dust 

Comments4

  • yellowrose

    Catchy writing . I like your words

  • Doggerel Dave

    Not sure about this one at all, Joe.
    Don't agree with the first two lines, especially the second:
    Lines 3 and 4: Mop? dust? a more useless bloody metaphor I would find hard to find.
    Apart from that, there's not a lot wrong with it..... :-)

  • Goldfinch60

    Good fun write Joe.

    Andy

  • L. B. Mek

    firstly and undeniably an intriguing read,
    although I can definitely understand Dave's pointed comments,
    but somewhere beneath the jarring disparity between your chosen metaphors and the actual message I assume you're trying to convey,
    exists a wonderful write of brevity: highlighting the wisdom in recognising those lessons society's elderly have 'picked up' surviving - life's jagged edges, while traversing time's epistemological rear-view mirrors..



To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.