Not absent - still here!
Keep Calm and Carry On Poeming. 😂
Unidentified this man must remain
And for reasons understandable and clear;
Right now there is an element of shame
About a matter he holds very dear.
You see many men can feel insecure
When it comes to the err, relative length
(about which they constantly feel unsure)
Of their ah, penis, and also the width.
Now come all you merry ladies please say:
So what difference does it make in the end?
It’s not about the act it’s the foreplay,
Liking someone on whom you can depend.
But where is this headed you are asking?
Well this man wanted to right what was wrong;
He didn’t believe it was his thinking:
Attributed his sorrow to his dong.
From Doctor Google he sought out a cure
And advice flooded his screen in a rush.
Eventually one was able to lure
A separation from his hard earned cash.
This splendid offer managed to convince
Significant enlargement overnight;
So therefore his problem would be solved since
He had complete faith all would be made right.
He waited a long time for his shopping,
For his sizeable outlay to bear fruit;
Eventually in plain covered wrapping
Salvation arrived in its safe brown suit.
He opened his parcel without damage
In the hope all would be quickly revealed
And then encountered an inner package,
An instruction , the item still concealed.
The company’s policy of safety
Was there evident, abundantly clear:
While the message was not at all racy,
‘Do not use in sunlight’ induced some fear.
A puzzling kind of admonition
(In sunlight he would not expose this skin);
It gave him a sense of trepidation
As he unwrapped the article within.
And at last the company’s solution:
One of such ingenuity and class;
The organization’s contribution:
A large well polished magnifying glass!
-
Author:
Doggerel Dave (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: March 26th, 2021 17:59
- Comment from author about the poem: Ref newspaper item and web circa 2014.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 70
Offline)
Comments8
Do not use in sunlight is so right!
Andy
Thanks for your endorsement, Andy. A surprise - I didn't believe I'd get any.
Definitely a highly ethical company.....
No Charlie I am not suggesting you need to ‘do some work on yourself’. That contraption looks particularly hazardous; you should take care that it doesn’t leave you hanging.
What a well-told tale about an unlengthy tail -- am still in a fit of the giggles at what the that male received.............. ha ha - a really great start to my day --
Ah Fay - Seems I totally misjudged my audience. I anticipated I would be completely ignored and condemned as a deviant, sent to the outer fringes of MPS. I'll have to try harder.....(don't ask....)
My abject apologies Mabel – it in no sense was it my intention to suggest by the use of the term ‘merry ‘ that you were inebriated all the time and especially that you had be drunk before entering into congress with your man.
Like it - Told like a riddle
............. Ooh err Matron .... ding bloomin dong .......................... 🙂
Caveat emptor.................? 🙂
Kept me on the edge of my seat. Great rhyme, really enjoyed it.
Truth in advertising. Buyer beware is the moto. This one made me smile and was well written in that my lack of trust in advertising led me to know something was coming but not sure what, I had to wait until the last line to get the full effect. Thanks for the fun.
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