If I could now

I never saw it coming,
But aren't we all looking for the permanent truth?
So when it happened,
I hid it like it was nothing.

I kept my bright eyes focused on the promises
because I lived in a palace of ruin,
Anything to get through

I got my eyes closed swollen with the loving from you
A solid embrace and a kissed face
the hurt would start to lead you too
Because when you're seeing red
I know I will soon too

Finger print bruises on my waist
From the dance we used to do
you catch a frozen heart staring in the mirror,
covering her face in concealer,
Still- with the numbness from you,

Deep into the night I focused on my heart - bright like the moon,
If you're gonna do it, then you got your chance to do it
Girl, you gotta go soon.

A private corner of my city
Nothing but candle light and hope,
A little taste of safety,
foreshadow a long way home

But still - If I could now,
I'd never tell you not to love him

Because when you're finding yourself,
You've got to grow

You can say what you want dear,
But the courage has won.
You can say what you spoke dear,
But the dreaming is done.