I DON’T MATTER ANYMORE

Alone in this room with nothing to do

Thinking of the outside and the direction of my own life

Sitting at the window watching the world pass by

Thinking what are my dreams what are my goals

Questioning everything I know and am told

Finding a direction for me the soul

I don't matter anymore. 

Sitting here behind silent doors.

My values faded some time, never to exist.

My path is paved with cobblestones. 

Through the night and the day, I walk it alone

To a destination, I will never know

What am I doing here at this point in time?

Believing my own lies hearing them whispering in my mind

Am I held back by pride or the unspoken lies?

I don't matter anymore.

I don't know when I am wrong.

Until it is wrong that I do

It is my choice to care when no one is there

But who is there for a moment singing my praise

Soon they just fade without a word to say

Searching for a place of comfort to rest the mind

Confidences is just a dried out seed never to grown in me

Just to dry up in the weeds

I don't matter anymore.

Waiting for a call that will never come

For some, there are conditions for love

Many take to the streets calling for justice and peace.

Individuals each one question am I truly free.

Marching in remembrance of the forgotten son

Insults are thrown sometimes, bruising the heart.

The ignorance hides the pain, just wanting to claim some fame

Even Karen hides thinking that she has a right to your life 

I don't matter anymore.

Behind this closed-door locked with the key of silence

A silence that is louder than any noise

©Copyright Thomas Dooley 2021