The Toilet Seat

Doggerel Dave

Believe me, this lady I knew quite well

Was bothered by toilet seats – who could tell?

Seat up or seat down, I’m not sure I knew

Just exactly what was her point of view.


When the toilet happened to be vacant

I enquired – found the pedestal patient;

It knew its place, didn’t worry one bit,

It just accepted – didn’t give a ++++.

  • Author: Doggerel Dave (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: April 12th, 2021 18:44
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 61


  • Barry Hodges

    I love toilets too.

    • Doggerel Dave

      Not sure I love them; need them - yes.
      Each to their own - good luck anyway.

    • Goldfinch60

      Good fun write Dave, with ladies in the house the seat must always been put down otherwise severe discourse may be coming your way.


      • Doggerel Dave

        You mean AFTER use Andy? ( I feel the timing here is a wee bit crucial....)

      • Classicmister

        I once went to a party where this sign was place in the toilet
        "We aim to please - will you aim too please!"
        Presumably aimed at gentlemen only!

        • Doggerel Dave

          Well I can see that would be a strategy AIMED at a particular moment, part of a gender specific activity, yes. But does not all that excess toilet seat movement result in added wear and tear to the seat mechanism and thus the expense of early replacement?

        • Accidental Poet

          On the insistence by the ladies that we men always put the lid back down after use, and that not all men raise the lid to pee to begin with (disgusting), I thought maybe the ladies should be happy to see that the lid was raised. Never the less, ALWAYS wipe the seat.

          • Doggerel Dave

            Getting a bit technical for me: wipe with what?

            I knows what I do at home -
            No wonder I live alone....

            • Accidental Poet

              eh, with T-paper? Better where a glove. ; )

            • Neville

              A household necessity, but one that is responsible for many domestic disagreements and indeed injuries ...

              • Doggerel Dave

                Yeh - my principal argument (as above) re unnecessary wear on the seat mechanism never ever received the credit it deserved, and for reasons I have never been able to discern only seemed to exacerbate the situation...... Human relations can be difficult, can't they? My injuries did heal, with physiotherapy, eventually.....

              • Andy Hunter

                Love this!

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