Sugiura Asuna

Monster Born By Night

Clawing up my throat, it spills

All those swallowed pills and tears

It's inky black and a murky green

The Monster emerging from me

Sucking in the night

It Screams

Bearing the morning light in clenched teeth



  • Doggerel Dave

    If sadness has that reaction I hate to think what any stronger emotion would do to you....
    And what do you learn in your history class?
    Apart from those reservations I found it an interesting but terrifying read.

    • Sugiura Asuna

      Thank you so much for the read! I live to terrify *evil laughter ending in a choke*
      Currently my history class is government lol.
      Emotions are a fickle thing, no two people have them the same way, because how we interpret and experience them is part nature, the chemistry of our brains and their special hormonal cocktail; and part nurture, our experiences, memories, and mental scars. So many (sometimes I find myself slipping into this thinking too) think that there are 2, maybe 3 kinds of people when it comes to emotion; the first is those who are highly emotional (generally speaking, this means that they have a high level of empathy), these are the people who feel things so deeply emotions seem to rip through them and come spilling out at the seams (most see women as this species, its where we get the whole "women are the weaker sex" thing). The second type is the "strong, stoic, silent" they have emotion, but display little to none of it, and never something that makes them vulnerable. Societally, there are certain kinds of emotion which are accepted when displayed, and others that are frowned upon; grief, when shown through a few silent tears, or displayed in anger, and happiness as long as it stems from a socially and culturally accepted thing, are both accepted, even venerated in the right setting. Many men fall prey to this or are pushed into it by (yet more) societal ideals like, "real men don't cry'', "Suck it up and be a man", etc... The examples are endless. The third type often falls to the wayside because they're invisible for the most part, but there all the same, these are the people who feel no emotion, psychopaths, sociopaths, and the dissociated (a state of emotional numbness/detachment, basically it feels like you go numb emotionally, nothing hurts like grief, or feel good like happiness). Usually when you think of this category you instantly think of murderers and serial killers, but psychopathy (no conscience) and sociopathy (weak conscience) are actually much more common, people just aren't aware of it because they fade into the background, forgotten until something brings it to the forefront, like murdering someone. It's like the ancient empire of Purth, exceedingly prosperous, well known in the ancient world, was a key ally of Egypt, yet no one can find where it is, because no one bothered to write down where it was because "Everyone knows where Perth is." (The number of times this has happened is honestly hilarious, another example is the Romans recipe for concrete that worked underwater, they had the recipe, but when they made it, it always failed. Turns out, when the recipe said "water" they meant seawater, because "Everyone knows the recipe for concrete."). So because almost all people operate on the level that people around them have a moral compass, they forget some people don't. That's not to say the statistics that those who are true psychopaths and sociopaths are way more likely to become killers aren't true, they are, it's just that it's way more common than most people think.
      These are the categories most people have in their heads. But there's another group which falls so much by the wayside, it's not even a category. This rag-tag group is everyone who doesn't fit into those 3 categories. They're the misfits, the broken ones that are individually rejected, people who don't feel emotion in the same or (in some cases even remotely) similar ways other people do. Sometimes people who are dissociating are placed in this category, it depends on the people around them, and how long they've been emotionally numb. It's everyone who doesn't neatly check the boxes to be categorised in the big 3, because of that, this group is actually where most people belong, the issue is that falling/aspiring to one of the big 3 is so much easier than dealing with the fact that the world isn't made up of boxes, that every single person in unique in some way. Because the truth is, none of those boxes are real, boxes make everything easy for our brain, and our brains like to be lazy.
      Everyone operates on a spectrum, which means us (our brains) have to manually sort through every interaction we have with others rather than taking a box of 20-30 people, and checking them off.

      Anyway, that was just a really long-winded and procrastin(tory????) way of saying sadness is probably the most visceral emotion I experience, depending on its level, it comes up my throat and sits, painfully weighing my lungs down. Emotional pain is different from physical pain, but the brain registers them in very similar ways.

      • Doggerel Dave

        Hold up there for a moment; I'm not closing down on you yet...only just started, but it's getting late where I live....I'll sleep on this and then get back to you OK?

      • 2 more comments

      • Goldfinch60

        If that monster has now emerged from within you let it go and continue with your better life.


      • L. B. Mek

        'woosah', take it slow dear poet
        life still has a lot to throw your way, I fear
        just take a glimpse of those history pages..
        still, personally: I found this a delightfully poetic read
        one thing is for sure, your write showcases unquestionable talent
        thanks for choosing to share..
        'keep that keyboard dancing and enjoy the ride
        remember to grip ambition's reins - loosely
        before it skins your innate whimsy: bloody...'

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