Well old friend the time has come
Is this by choice – or by shotgun
You said for you she is the one
You can’t back out – the deed is done
Like the proverbial sitting duck
Love hits you like a ten ton truck
We sincerely wish you lots of luck
At least tonight you’re guaranteed a good time
We’ve known you since we were at school
And you’re the one who played it cool
But now you’ve got a chain and ball
I guess it happens to us all
Try not to commit the ultimate crime
By not arriving home on time
Expect it all to work out fine
With flowers, chocs and a bottle of wine
All she’ll do is expect the worst
Your good intentions are now cursed
She’ll ask why you didn’t text or phone
You’ll end up on the couch alone
To achieve a long and happy marriage
You’re the horse – she’s the carriage
She’s in charge – but you’re in control
Just take her where she wants to go
Now you’ve said the words I do
What’s yours is hers – what’s hers is too
Steer clear of trouble – avoid the strife
We wish you both a happy life
-
Author:
Andy Hunter (
Offline) - Published: May 7th, 2021 13:19
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 359
- User favorite of this poem: Eugene S..
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Comments5
OK, you win. This is full of every trite tope of warnings and advice for the groom... but it is so cleverly meshed and wittily crafted, it is priceless! These old ball and chain images are so sexist... but I am ashamed to say laughed all the way.
Thanks, actually wrote this for my nephew's wedding. Thought it may be worth sharing for a laugh 😂
Do they still have those things, Andy - weddings with bride in white, three tier cakes, groom and best man?
I remember them a little from when I was a kid and umpteen aunts and uncles did it.... The last wedding I attended was in the sixties when a couple who had been living together for years wanted an excuse for a big party - wasn't quite like the regular thing, though.
So where have I been living - in a cave? That's for me to know....
I agree, we got married mainly for the tax rebate. Back then we were living in London and totally broke and the whole wedding only cost us £50.00. 40 years later we are still happily married.
Good fun write Andy.
Andy
Thanks Andy,
I did already write a comment on this fantastic amusing poem advices to newlywed grooms, did it disappear??
Yes, I have also read some of your wonderful poetry and sent comments. I hope you received them.
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