A Trailing Past

5/19/21

When I think about my past there's so much that I fail to acknowledge

because I try to remember all the good parts and not ills that deserve to be demolished

I remember all my childhood thrills when I would prance and I would frolic

without the pains that I believe that to date have turned me to an alcoholic

 

So shameful are my tears when my good memories will start becoming toxic

that I prefer to ignore them like my conscience when it's tone becomes demonic

and unlike my ambitions that always appear and seem so polished

the past trailing behind is dirty

 

foul like gruesome spirits that possess a house that's haunted

and destructive like a wildfire that is burning

and though the worst seems to have been long-gone and vanished

it still effects me like consuming a rotten apple alongside a rotten cabbage

 

it's damages seem and feel so long-term and massive

that I'd rather forget it altogether to prevent my mind from trying to grasp it

I'd rather be distracted like admiring a passing vehicle that's classic

than circle it at it's core like rotations of this planet.