waking up in my childhood bed

Brick by a brick wall to wall, the little girl I used to be found it easy to crawl from as young and as small I guess the bigger you grow the harder you fall

The part of me you took hostage and the part of you i fell in love with

Will, it always be me in the wrong in the sight of my own eyes

Will, i still hate myself if I give up the secrets and lies and the baby inside who cries for a love she won't receive

Trust is such a small word with such a heavy feeling, why can't I trust myself to not like the bleeding

I can't hurt myself enough to rid the guilt that stops me from breathing just to look myself in my eyes and hear my inner child tell me to stop and to try

And we would dream of flying but the bird I longed to be already took its flight 

Does freedom come when you are alone or in your darkest night

The clock ticks and my mind can't help but think, 

When overthinking makes me sour who really traumatized me when I did it within my own power

Are they always going to be self-entitled to soak up my weakness and ring it out like a towel

Have you ever laid under someone and realized that it’s just not enough? 

And when the touch of others feels intrusive to give up a body you've never loved

Whose am I tonight?