Dark.
Eventide seeps
into rockpooling shoreline.
Moonless the tide laps
its quiet retreat.
Gulls shadow night-fall
like fragile omens
as mist fills this twilight
in salty defeat.
Dark hangs its cloak
around sky's weak fighting.
Soot dusts horizon
and leaches bright flowers.
Night shuts itself
off while with Luna's hiding
dusk gently weeps
as we lost what was ours.
-
Author:
Fay Slimm. (
Offline) - Published: July 15th, 2021 02:56
- Comment from author about the poem: The caption under this image reads - "Young widow facing a first Anniversary. alone" - - -hope the sonnet expresses some of that sadness.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 50
- User favorite of this poem: Accidental Poet.
Offline)
Comments7
'Gulls shadow night-fall
like fragile omens
as mist fills this twilight
in salty defeat.'
what choice wording and seamless flow
you managed to create
that artistic yet sympathetic
moody: noir-esque feel
in such a short write,
what a wonderful treat,
thank you, dear Fay
You are so kind with the time you spend in reading and commenting L.B. and I thank you sincerely for all your encouragement. Am so pleased you enjoy my poetic efforts.
Much sadness in your words. They brought to mind how, whilst in low mood of heart matters, we see the world continuing on around us whether it be the exciting crash of waves upon rocks in sunshine or mundane estuary at low tide twilight. They become personal and influence our thoughts.
I felt the loneliness of the scene you describe as if I were there.
When a verse affects inner essence it shows words can,influence and am grateful that you were taken to the sad scene yet felt its message. Many thanks dear friend.
I am pretty sure that even if these amazing words, this sonnet of yours did not have your name tagged to it, I would have still been able to identify you as the poet behind it ..... x
It warms my heart to know you can pinpoint my writing without name-tags Nev........what could be better than a meeting of minds -- good to be on the same network eh ? Warm thanks as always for all your support..............x
Good write, Fay.
You leave a lot of powerful images swimming around in my brain.
Oooh Jerry - the honour of my images swimming around your brain makes me work harder at persuading my pen to cease before word-weight makes you dizzy. Oodles of thank yous for leaving such a cool comment on Dark.
The image sets the tone, but your words gave it meaning, as the saline waves, understandable, accepted the tears
Thanks Suresh - am glad you felt the image was helpful in getting the meaning from my few lines.
The loss of a loved one is tragic to say the least. But a young widow on the first anniversary to spend it without her Husband is beyond words. And yet you managed to pull it off here Fay, Hopefully this is a work of fiction, but somewhere in the world this has happened to someone. Well penned Fay.
Thanking you dearly A.P. for your thoughtful comment on Dark - - this is as you hope a work of fiction and arose from seeing the image but as you state this happens to many in these troubled days of strife etc. - so glad you saw the message behind the imagery.
Very emotive words Fay which I can certainly understand.
Andy
Yes I knew dear Andy that you would truly understand the message the words tried to convey. Thank you for your welcome comment.
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