Grandkids.

When the children left the nest we thought we’d done our time.
We waved them off with their spouses and everything was fine.
We turned up at their weddings to ensure that they were gone.
But now they’ve got their own kids and they bring them to our home.

One little ankle biter comes running up the street
To visit Nan and Grandpa every single week.
Their parents make themselves at home and the kid goes running wild.
They fall asleep on’t sofa too tired to stop the child.

He runs into the greenhouse when his parents turn him loose.
He takes my prize tomatoes and turns them into juice.
Then the beggar disappears upstairs into the loo.
He locks the door and turns the sink taps on and the bath ones too. 

“It’s his developing personality” that's what his parents say
We’d keep him in a cage, if we only had our way.
Coz having kids is like breaking wind, when he’s loose in our home.
You can’t stand other people’s but you’re OK with your own.

He said he’d seen a flattened dog while out with Mum and Dad.
We thought he’d seen an accident and really were quite sad.
We asked him “Was the dog in question flattened by a truck.?"
No, he said “ The other dog was pumping the flat dog up.”

Our other children call on us with their offspring in tow.
They sometimes leave a kid behind, when it’s time to go
Like a parcel in lost luggage at your local transport hub
You find them fast asleep in the bedroom on the rug.

We have to have a head count in case one’s left behind.
And sure enough after they’ve gone, a little one we’ll find.
Either in the biscuit cupboard or underneath the mat.
Or in a quiet corner sleeping with the cat.

We try to think of something to keep the kiddies quiet
A game of snakes and ladders would perhaps prevent a riot?
The little one swallowed both the dice as soon as she got bored.
We’ll have to wait till morning to find out what she scored.

We sometimes do our counting game
With fingers and with toes.
But one of em likes to show us.
What he discovered up his nose.

They descend on us for Christmas and eat up all our grub.
Then leave the kiddies in with us, while they go to the pub.
We never like to ask them how long they plan to stay?
They lay siege to our home, till after new year’s day.

So here’s to friends and family and children everywhere.
Life would n’t be the same without them being there.
We love to see them really although we ‘re bound to moan.
We’re glad when they arrive and glad when they go home.