Now we’re coming out of lockdown and the world seems more at ease
We’re nicer to each other and do our best to please.
We’re much more understanding and we’re getting more acquainted.
My facebook and my twitter feed is getting inundated..
It’s filling up with friends requests from someone’s widowed wife
Who would like to use my bank account to change my way of life.
They’ll deposit fifty million in my current bank account
And they’ll hand me £20 million change, If I’ll just help them out.
It all seems very genuine, a sign of things to come.
I don’t think for one moment that they’ll take my dosh and run.
One lady seemed quite lonely, she’d been widowed for a while,
She said my number on my card, might help to make her smile
Just sixteen digits from my account, would put her mind at ease
And my name,my home address, oh and sort code if you please.
Another came from Africa a Nigerian tribal chief
His name was “ Trustme Goodman” so he could n’t be a thief.
He’ll deposit sixty million and give me a mighty share.
I’d never have to work again,live life without care.
He wants to know about my life and where i choose to bank
But something tells me his proposal is n’t worth a ………Wager.
He’d like to give to charity a portion of our prize
He just needs my identity and the colour of my eyes.
A passport photography to trace my bank account
But I fear that I’ll be putting in and he’ll be taking money out.
He sounded reassuring, the sort of man to trust.
But he’ll be drinking Champers, and I’ll be going bust.
My instagram is popular with twenty years old girls
Who want to show me pictures, to make eyebrows curl.
I’ve told ‘em I'm not interested in peeking at their bits.
I’d rather have a tata pie, some gravy and some chips.
Then the conmen on the telephone calls me in the day
Coz my data’s been corrupted and a bill I need to pay.
He says he’s Steve from London, a manager from Sky.
But I suspect it’s Abdul from Delhi or Mumbai.
“Open your computer up” he tells me in a hurry
Coz he needs to take control and I don’t need to worry
Say he’ll fix it right away and prevent my financial crash
But I’ve got a funny feeling he’s looking for my cash.
So if you get a phone call, e-mail or a text
Offering a financial deal, free cash or easy sex,
Deal with it politely, tell them “Thanks a bunch.”
Remember what your Daddy told you about life and a free lunch.
-
Author:
Chris Duffy (
Offline) - Published: July 19th, 2021 06:11
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 24
- Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek
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Comments8
am still waiting for the $20 million from a chinese widowed bride;
i suggested i pay my fee after the cheque arrives but she didnt ask my address!
a very good write Chris;
Thanks I’m sure if you wait long enough?
Lol. Absolutely brilliant Chris. When I get nuisance calls I go for the elderly deaf gent role. Works a treat with hilarious results
Love it! They should be fought at every turn. Have no mercy.
Covered that lot with a great rhymer, Chris
Emails can be entertaining if long convoluted bullshit studded with grammatical errors - obviously delete, not open; It's the phone calls which really cheese me off. Evolved strategy - inform just about to record because short term memor..... gone, never said goodbye.
Thanks Dave. Sharks everywhere.
So very true.
If it sounds to good to be true it is a con.
Andy
really like the playfulness in your tone
that's the only way to overcome, such draining
and monotones hustles, that harass indiscriminately
although, it's important - to note
exactly how this criminals get our details
in the first place..
the black market for peoples data, is a global pandemic
we need to address immediately, and its an easy fix
but sadly, its also profitable
and a non traceable earning opportunity
for those corrupt companies and public officials, we intrust
to keep our data safe...
an important write and a fun read, thanks for sharing
Thank you very much. It was written from the heart ……. With venom.
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