They said "stay home,"
Tho, you felt like a bird in the cage
Boring days like the book of one page-
Gave you anxiety, and you said "I'm alone."
You can't go to work or school,
As if you're in the jail or a place like hell,
But take it as a spare time and keep doing well
Take rest, have some fun, you'll stay safe and cool.
Dear, stop feeling antsy,
Don't get these conditions in the wrong way,
Things will be okay, when the virus goes away
You're not alone, pals are there for you, take it easy.
-
Author:
Pacifique Niyitanga (
Offline) - Published: July 28th, 2021 07:00
- Category: Reflection
- Views: 13
- User favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek.
Offline)
Comments4
Yep, yurn these days of enforced home stay into something positive. A great time to do nothing more than get to know yourself, understand and accept yourself a bit more.
That's it.... thanks for good comment!
Absolutely true ❣
Well, thanks
In those days we have had to ensure that we do something to keep us sane, many have and have learned mew things in their lives.
Good true words Niyitanga.
Andy
Thank you so much
really liked the comforting message you tried to convey
while maintaining your ambition
for the technical elements of poetic artistry,
(I think, you won't mind me saying
you can still smoothen the flow better - with a few edits
and maybe, see if you can swap that dome/home
from the middle stanza for words that don't end with E
that way you'll have that uniformed first stanza of E's and
last stanza of Y's, and you can highlight the turning point
of the poems middle stanza a little clearer, but
these are just my overzealous and somewhat rude, opinions
if you like how the poem is right now, then - its perfect
just as it is, dear poet)
thank you, for choosing to share
I like your positive critiques Mek....
(They said "stay home,"
Tho, you felt like a bird in the cage
Boring days like the book of one page-
Gave you anxiety, and you said "I'm alone."
You can't go to work or school,
As if you're in the jail or a place like hell,
But take it as a spare time and keep doing well
Take rest, have some fun, you'll stay safe and cool.
Dear, stop feeling antsy,
Don't get these conditions in the wrong way,
Things will be okay, when the virus goes away
You're not alone, pals are there for you, take it easy. )
Maybe this can work... lemme know if there's no mistake or a misunderstand to your critique?
looks great, how quickly you adjust dear poet
now let it rest for a while, then go back to it
in a few weeks/months, see how it looks to you
(that's what I usually do)..
a great read! thanks for sharing
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