Letting Go

HannahElisabeth


Notice of absence from HannahElisabeth
Taking a long overdue mental health vacation. I will check in when I can.

Scared of the distance

Both space

And time

And the walls you build

Around your mind

How my words don’t come out right

 

I can feel it slipping

How you intoxicate me

Feel the disconnection

Electricity

Slowly fading

Terrified of words

Left unsaid, unmade bed

More so timid than gentle

Painfully conscious

Of the imminent fragility

Never did have the luxury of stability

So used to playing with fire

Now  numb to the burns

Knew what we were doing

Knew what we risked losing

But I can’t lose you

I love you

 Means so many things

Like you should wear your seatbelt

Get some rest

And did you eat

And the crushing weight of watching

The fading luminosity in your eyes

I want to see you happy

Be there no matter what

See that shimmer in your eyes again

Whether I’m the reason for it

Or not

In over our heads

Don’t know how to fix this

Barely treading water

Didn’t mean to risk us

Not even sure

What us means anymore

Learned to pull away first

One foot out the door

Build walls around our hearts

Always on high alert

Stability was a luxury

We could never afford

And “love made like ink spilled”

Is just a fading memory

And loving means losing

Any semblance of control

We never knew safety

In being vulnerable

  • Author: HannahElisabeth (Offline Offline)
  • Published: August 4th, 2021 15:41
  • Comment from author about the poem: "Love made like ink spilled" is a reference to a Tyler Knott Gregson poem, whose poetry this person and I shared a love for.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 21
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Comments +

Comments1

  • Coyote

    Sad and beautiful yet somehow hopeful. A very moving piece.

    • HannahElisabeth

      Thank you Coyote! I often write as a form of catharsis so the result is usually releasing pain or pent up feelings.



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