Florence J

Through the night

Pillow soaked and cheeks sore.

It’s at night the emotional turmoil is rife.

Smile a little, I tell myself. You have everything you wanted right?

It’s true.

I’m surrounded by people I love and who love me…but I still feel alone.

I feel an ache of heaviness from within, like a missing piece from a puzzle.

I’m walking around empty inside, missing a part of me each day.

I try to smile and mask the pain with a laugh,

But at night I can not fool myself. I

I can not fake this happy life, I cannot pretend it’s all going to be okay.

My pillow is laced with memories from my past. I lay my head on my pillow case, and I’m connected to a world of painful memories. Memories I had buried throughout the day to live a life of normality.

It comes crushing down, like a tide coming in from the ocean.

My body is embraced by a wave of sorrow, coming in much higher than expected.

There’s no lifeguard to save me, or passerby to help.

I’m alone with my thoughts, and honestly she is drowning me.

I gasp for air, try to swim to stay afloat… but it doesn’t work.

I succumb to this tide and let my body crash against these memories.

My cheeks are stained from the relentless tears, and my body ceases up.

Will life continue to be this way?

Will I ever be okay?

Regrets start to swirl; and my body becomes limp from the heaviness of my heart.

Sorrow takes over and I become a foreigner in my own body.

Pillow soaked and cheeks sore,

An ode to my bleak emotions I must endure.


  • L. B. Mek

    more power to you!
    fortitude is a dying trait, in our chaotic modernity
    stay strong, share and reach out
    hopefully, you'll find the response you've been looking for
    but remember
    there is no rule saying we Have, to Be a certain way
    just have to try and make the best, of our flitting life
    how we do that, is completely up to us!
    thanks for choosing to share

    • Florence J

      Thank you soo much!
      It was quite scared writing something soo vulnerable, but it felt amazing to get my thoughts on to paper!
      Your words have really encouraged me & your advice has been soo useful to me in this time of need. Thank you soo much for this 💛

    • yellowrose

      A sad writing but still so very well expressed ..

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