Enough

And suddenly

All of my music wasn’t sad enough

All of my playlists lacked emotion

All of the quotes weren’t deep enough

The motivational words weren’t motivating me

The alcohol didn’t numb my thoughts

The smoke didn’t cloud your image that is forever burned into every crease of my brain

The cuts weren’t down enough to make me fade in and out like you did to my life

Writing my thoughts down became a hassle

A constant battle of

Should I send

Or

Should I delete

My heart fell so far down

Into the depths of my chest

Where no human could reach

I could still feel it beating yet

I questioned if I was still there

A numb and empty shell

Surrounded by a broken wall causing

Dirty thoughts and plans to prevent me

From picking up those pieces and living

Within seconds of you walking out

It shattered into a million pieces

Yet my heart didn’t hit the floor

It was stuck inside

Stuck jabbing the other parts of my body

Until they were broken and numb as well

And all of a sudden

All this time that I spent in fear of hurting you

In return I hurt myself

And that was enough