dusk arising

goodbye

 

 

You, always had your
art and flair
pony tail and your
hip-hop hair
Me, you dug me out
of Bisco's chair
and somehow
placed me there


.       Did you ever see
.       beyond outside of me
.       was there never ever
.       meant to be
.       broken heart indemnity


.                       Now is the time that came
.                       to put the past to rest
.                       i never knew what
.                       became of you but 
.                       for me I gave my best


.        (chorus)         Goodbye seemed to be our place to be
.                                   I took the car you took the street
.                                   love's bad was never so indiscrete
.                                   like i was gum beneath your feet


you took your time
you made the grade
finally hitched
in yer fine brocade
happy child
in your happy arms
as estranged daddy
paid for all your charms


.       (2nd chorus)   yes goodbye seemed our place to be
.                                    I got the car,  you took the meat
.                                    but there was never, never time to cheat
.                                    a parting never so oh-oh incomplete


.    (slow/half time section)
me   taking  a   glance   across   the   street
beneath  rainclouds   our   eyes   meet
you   look  away,   then  you   looked   back
familiar face,   saying  'you're just Jack '


.       (3rd chorus)     goodbye seemed to be our place to be
.                                     forever you forever me
.                                     whatever made our chemistry
.                                     found fatal flaws with consistency
.       (4th chorus)      so goodbye you, goodbye me
.                                     writhing sensuality
.                                     a burned out fire an old ash tree
.                                     the hollow cry of a third degree


.          (pause)
 

.            (slow/half time section to the finish)
.      now I must say that I agree
.      another sip of herbal tea
.      lays to rest the autopsy
.      of a tear stained, paid for, last decree

Comments9

  • Doggerel Dave

    Massive work to get out in a day, dusk - Not pure imagination , you've reworked an experience or two...
    Anyway, well done - now I want to see it on youtube or wherever...

    • dusk arising

      Thanks DD, no can do on youtube, i hadn't worked out a score just a melody and lyrics.

      • Doggerel Dave

        Dusk: Having worked and participated in a variety of different environments over a long and chequered life, the dynamic is always the same: Passed to me - If I can say it, you can do it. You have collapsed that - you stated it, you can do it... Work out the score and upload ....... Do let me know , Sir.... 😊

      • 2 more comments

      • yellowrose

        Very engaging are your words , dusk 🙂 great song

        • dusk arising

          Thank you yellowrose.

        • Goldfinch60

          Very emotive words d a and so well written.

          Andy

          • dusk arising

            Wish i was still in with creative musicians sometimes to give stuff like this a good bash, see where it goes musically. used to be very satisfying developing songs into set pieces.
            I listened to the way amy winehouse versed her lyrics and this was deffo inspired by her. She is sadly missed.

          • Teddy.15

            A broken love story in a song Kudos dear Dusk, what imagery and an emotional rollercoaster ride of love. Brilliant.

            • dusk arising

              Thank you Teddy. I guess anyone who's had their heart busted a few times can find a story in the pieces left behind. Where's your blues song.... ?? woke up this mornin.... and i..... etc etc

              • Teddy.15

                Actually I do have one on site on page 6 it's called (leave me here to dream) if you are interested, you might cry though lol

              • HannahElisabeth

                Thank you for the recommendation!

                I especially love the lines:
                "a burned out fire an old ash tree
                the hollow cry of a third degree"

                I agree with Dave, this needs to be on YouTube lol

                • dusk arising

                  I'm no longer in a bunch of musicians so no youtube sorry. Sax and vocals was my thing and i'm an awful guitarist so youtube's a no no.

                • Neville


                  if I were you sir, I would be bloody pleased with myself .. very pleased in fact ............................... Neville

                  • dusk arising

                    Thank you Neville, hi praise indeed..... i'm never smug, i just enjoy being creative as and when it strikes.

                  • Marie

                    A very poignant lyrical write, dear poet. The sadness of two people, in love with each other, but one of the partners doesn't see the other one as an equal but rather beneath them, begs the question why she fell in love with the other person to begin with. There must have been some magnetism there to attract each to the other. You narrate the story superbly and the final verse in the poem is simply amazing because the poet is willing to accept the results of the autopsy he held on the relationship and allow the tear stained past to rest in peace with their divorce. Heart wrenching lyrics, dear poet D.A. but superbly crafted, presented and expressed. Kudos well deserved! I enjoyed reading, though at one point tears threatened to fall and I brushed them away quickly! A lyrical gem! Thank you for sharing...

                    • dusk arising

                      Marie, wonderful. Thank you so much. i'm torn between being pleased that this was a 'real' enough scenario to have touched you emotionally and wishing i hadn't raised that tear.
                      There are so many sad songs and so many ways to tell the same story though no two stories are the same. I think it's the uncommon personal details of a relationship which give sincerity to any piece of verse or poetry. The small touches or asides bring a personal note to a song, for we all have those tiny details carried along in our life's baggage.
                      Always enjoy reading your comments, thank you.

                    • Laura🌻

                      D.A.,

                      Wow…
                      I was totally engrossed in reading your awesome write. I read it a few times to feel and envision the words with music. I felt it played very well.

                      Thank you for sharing.

                      Laura🌻

                      • dusk arising

                        Thank you Laura, that's really pleased me.

                      • Jerry Reynolds

                        I agree with Neville. What do they put in those IV's over there?

                        • dusk arising

                          Sadly mate it's chemotherapy at the moment and it's making me feel yuk..... sleepy and weak. Been sleeping and waking in this chair for two days lol. Hopefully it'll wear off soon.
                          The last time i was on chemo it gave me some really weird poetry.... dunno what's coming this time round.



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