pinkfern

Your bedroom

What was I trying to prove

When I kissed that girl in your room

Then called her boyfriend a cunt?

I was clearly putting on a front

You’d talked me up to your new friends

They all seemed cooler than anyone I knew

They thought I was cool too

You were so proud of me as you so often were

But I let you down as I so often do

I drank too much, took too much, spoke too much

Every thing since then has been loud

But there’s been nothing but silence between us.

 

Sometimes I wish I was a tic and could crawl inside your skin

Work my way up to your brain and let myself in

Too often have you shut me out and even more forceful do I push and push and push my way in to just -

Push you away

There’s only so many ways that I can say it

Why is it the easiest word

I shove a finger down my throat and purge -

“sorry”

 

When I kissed that girl on Saturday

It was as if to say:

What will it take for you to hate me?

Why don’t you hate me?

I wish you could hate me

It’s so lonely hating me

I could really use the company

 

 

 



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