Taking a long overdue mental health vacation. I will check in when I can.
Some people will only ever see us as victims;
They're not the ones
Who pull you out of bed when your world shatters
Off the cold hard floor when your knees fail
And the air is taken from your lungs
Carrying the weight of a heart too big
Survivor's guilt as you stand
Mourning another grave of a friend
Friend of a friend
Another one gone and you can't do a thing
But stay on the phone and share the weight of the grief
Walking with ghosts still waiting to be claimed
Debts unpaid just to find some relief
Looking for answers
At bottoms of bottles
And cutting lines
In skin
Or white powder
When shooting up is the only time life is euphoric
And all of your friends
We're just waiting for it
You know
That phone call
The one where they're saying
He flatlined
We tried
But we couldn't save him
Surrounded by pain
But you make it out alive
Praying to a god you don't believe in
The others survive
When the person you loved
More than life itself
Turns into the reason
You're saving yourself
When you're pleading in court
With an absolute stranger
To grant some protection
To keep you from danger
When consent doesn't matter,
Just the response to
"But did he hit you...?"
When the family you know
Isn't the one you were born with
When they catch your fall
You still feel that absence
Tell me
I'm going to hell
For what I believe in
I can assure you
I've already been;
-
Author:
HannahElisabeth (
Offline) - Published: October 28th, 2021 21:48
- Comment from author about the poem: A piece I've been sitting on since taking my leave of absence.
- Category: Reflection
- Views: 45
- Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek, dusk arising.
Offline)
Comments4
This is so damn good & raw, I am almost ashamed to like it as much as I do ................................ I look forward to your eventual return Hannah Elisabeth ... Neville
Neville, you are far too kind. I'm thrilled that this piece was well received, regardless of the heavier topics. I shall be back shortly!
Good to hear 🙂
(when reading such raw and powerful poetry, sometimes
all I can do is try and respond to the emotions I connect with,
give voice to the wordless yearning I identified with,
maybe its rude of me, but please
forgive my overzealous nature, I only mean to show solidarity, empathy
and maybe in doing-so, let you know
however empty your room may be, momentarily
you're not alone, dear Poet
at least in me
you've someone that will listen
patiently and still, respect you
for the honest bravery you choose to express yourself with
and fight to survive, against all the odds!)
how do we begin to peel
the fruits
of our pain and suffering;
seeds, we never knew
we invited into our heart's
blossoming a lifetime of regrets
watered by our unshed tears,
there must be a place
where a wrong turn, in life
doesn't have to culminate
in a free fall, of endless strife!
where is this mercy
where are these deities
where do I find, the love in life?
must my knees bend, to plead
when so much of me is already broken..
let's say, this is all fate decreed
and from my nightmare ashes
a light of destiny
will beckon me
to the wonder's of the world
this poet's are drunk on?
what of my daydream horrors
will they, be wiped from my memory;
one day will I be too able to hug, a stranger again
without flinching
like in my youthful bliss of naivety?
or am I cursed
to remain weary
of all the kindness that still awaits me...
There is nothing to forgive, dear poet. I always look forward to your beautiful responses; this one in particular brought tears to my eyes.
I cannot express my gratitude enough for such a lovely group of people who appreciate the raw and vulnerable pieces I share.
All I can say is thank you. As dark as this might be, I am grateful for having so many people in my life to love so fiercely as to write this.
placing a part of life naked before us dear poet takes a lot of courage.
Pain which has led us to now makes us the poet we are.... you have amazing expression in your writing and the pain comes through hard hitting.
Amazing writing.
Dusk arising, thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. They are very much appreciated as always my friend! And thank you for reading
Hannah - I cannot find a single argument to muster against anything or circumstance you relate in your gut wrenching piece...... Great to know you survive and are still around.
Hope you didn't miss me too much while I've been gone, I know I've missed the banter.
I have some much happier pieces I've been working on, this was just a dark moment I was in while readjusting to life without anxiety medication.
Life is actually pretty beautiful right now and I'm looking forward to being more active on MPS again 🙂
Ah - you're back; that's great. I did wonder if you would return. Happy sounds good. As for the banter - I'll see what I can provide.
Not in a dark place myself, but certainly lacking in inspiration right now, and take some short breaks. I expect light will return sometime soon........
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