[ From The Mistakes ]

Heart of Babel

So you think that you are

A better parent than me

Like you could magically fill the void

Of all our girl’s needs

With all the holes in your own life

That you can’t even break free

Well that’s a shame because I know

That’s what you really believe

 

And you still wonder why I disregard

All of your texts

Why I refuse to call or write you back

When you show no respect

I get it, trust me, I know you well

You think you’re perfect

And I’m a stagnant nobody, right?

Ain’t I correct?

 

I remember quite well

All the words that you said

Who the person you turned into

And the lies that you spread

While I believe that you believe them

You ain’t right in the head

But that’s all in the past

And I just chose to forgive

 

Although I know you won’t say sorry

For you have too much pride

You’ve got so many fabrications

All you see is your lies

It is your way or nothing

You feel you can’t be denied

But you couldn’t get your way

And what was left was divide

 

Your mind still can’t comprehend

Why you can’t get your way

Manipulation off the charts

It’s all you’ll ever portray

If you recall I made a plea to you

The very first day

To just separate with grace

But you just chose to decay

 

All in your mindset

That it was in the best interest

So you chose to wage a war

Against a man of forgiveness

And I forgive and I’ll forget

And I still try not to grimace

That this absurdity was real

And I was baring a witness

 

Did you honestly think

I’d walk away from my kids

Did you honestly think another man

Could fill the love that I give

Your mind is so far out of context

It’s like heaven forbid

Imagine if our daughters knew

All that you’ve hid

 

I hope they never do

But at least we’re finally divorced

And I can finally get some healing

From the abuse and coerce

Sometimes it doesn’t seem real

Like a novel of sorts

But I’m so thankful for this change

To walk anew, hopeful course

 

Who knew I could feel more life

Just watching us die

And that thought is so astounding

Yet it is truth realized

But I’m over it, this torment

I no longer have to comply

Don’t have to sacrifice my life

Just to keep us alive

 

Because I realize it all now

How fake it all was

And I realize, in my life

How much damage you’ve caused

How you manipulate the world

And conjure the flaws

So you can justify your actions

Without giving a pause

 

So go be the monster

You have chosen to be

Go leave a path of destruction

Wherever you put your feet

You actually thought that you

Had control over me

No matter how hard you fight

Just know, I’ll always be free

 

I’ll walk these streets

And I’ll find a new path

One of love and beauty

And not devoured in wrath

I appreciate life more

Because my life has come back

Learning and growing

From the mistakes of the past

 

© GaratheDen

© HeartOfBabel

  • Author: Garathe Den (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: November 3rd, 2021 11:17
  • Category: Reflection
  • Views: 32
  • User favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek.
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Comments1

  • L. B. Mek

    'Manipulation off the charts
    It’s all you’ll ever portray
    If you recall
    I made a plea to you
    The very first day
    To just separate with grace
    But you just chose: decay'..
    This is: one of the most honest,
    eloquently penned
    bravely revealing, poems
    I have ever
    had the good fortune, to read!
    I'm just sorry you're only hearing these words from me, and not someone whose opinions you have time for.
    Because you should be Very Proud of what you've manged to achieve in this write.
    I hope it can act as the seed to your need found path
    and years later, your children can read
    and with a bit of added context, understand
    just how much they mean to you.
    (write's like these
    is why
    words: exist...!!!)
    thank you!
    for choosing to share, dear Poet



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