Taking a long overdue mental health vacation. I will check in when I can.
It's 3 a.m.
you wake in a cold sweat
panic
as you hear the car being locked
outside your window in the parking lot
and your body doesn't care
if it's him
or someone else
cortisol, adrenaline, norepinephrine
coursing through your system
in fight or flight
a survival mechanism
you know the rules of the game
and all you can do is freeze
it's what you learned since you were 12 or 13
when your mother used to scream
to the point you left your own body
just to make sense of the senselessness
of a broken home and nowhere to go
-20 seconds-
-30 seconds-
feels like an eternity
waiting for signs he's not coming home
and he doesn't
and you cry
when your cat leaves your side
to stand guard by the door
when he sees your eyes dart back and forth
ears on high alert
for the same signs you're waiting for
like there's anything he could do
should it open
it's now 5 p.m.
living in a different city
you tell yourself he doesn't know
your apartment number
when that very same sound
makes your blood run cold to the core
as you sit in the study hall
and the process starts all over
it's been months and months since you left
but that feeling
never did.
-
Author:
HannahElisabeth (
Offline) - Published: November 4th, 2021 02:32
- Comment from author about the poem: I was fortunate enough to find a lovely little spoken word poetry community at a local coffee shop and I wrote this just in time for my very first event. Reading my poetry aloud was nerve wracking but I'm so glad I did it. I can't say I hope anyone enjoys this, but if you're thinking of doing spoken word, I highly recommend the experience.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 57
- Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek, Coyote, spilleronsheet
Offline)
Comments7
Now I don’t want to be picky, but somewhere I thought there were some ‘happier pieces’ in the offing…….
However, that noted, I want you to know this particular effort (I use the term advisedly – it would have taken considerable toll on memory and emotion) is for me a window into a situation I read about and am confronted with via other media, but nothing has bought it home in such a raw way as this.
Thanks Hannah.
What can I say, the inspiration hit and I just had to share. I have one that I'm still editing from my lovely adventures in nature, and a very particular piece I'm quite fond of. But that won't be shared until my next poetry reading for reasons you'll see soon enough. Gotta build that anticipation, right?
I greatly appreciate the thanks. I'm content (happy feels a bit too chipper here) to hear I accomplished my goal of sharing a glimpse into what many survivors go through on a daily basis.
Ah, I see… going to keep us in suspenders for a little longer… I have no problem with this; delayed gratification prolongs anticipation – half the fun….
Emotionally vivid. Written with such sober clarity. I felt it. Kudos, fellow writer.
Thank you for such kind words, they are much appreciated!
and through all-things bleak
and barbarically vile, that tried
but mercifully, Failed
to diminish the Beauty of your Bravery
or the majesty, in your fight
to imbue your Poetry
with the purity of Goodness, you still Choose to embrace
in your purpled Heart, despite
the abundance of darkness and hurt, in your life...
(it's a privilege to ready your Poetry
and its an honour, to be a part of your existence, dear Poet
keep believing,
keep searching,
keep healing!
thank you, for choosing to share)
Thank you dearly, once again, for such kindness in your words. I cannot express my gratitude enough.
Such drama! Really enjoyed this suspenseful sad tale. A story being told the world over for those lucky enough to have an escape path.
Life can be so undeservedly cruel.
Thank you Dusk! I'm beyond grateful that I can write about such things in a much better place.
I feel as though it's worth mentioning one of my favorite quotes from Mr. Rogers, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping". At the very least, that has been my fortunate experience.
That dreaded feeling, I pray is just a poetic license - for the horror of your words is truly jarring
Awesome write Hannah and congrats on finding a spoken word group.
Thank you friend 🙂
It felt surreal
As if the scenes were happening in front
You staged it so well
Thank you so much for the compliment! I greatly appreciate you taking the time to read and comment 🙂
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