The Fridge

Monday

                It has come to my attention, that someone has been stealing from

                the communal fridge. I notice that my own personal milk with my

                name on the bottle is half empty, also three fingers of my KitKat

                are missing. Please refrain, or action will be taken.

Tuesday

                It has come to my attention, and I’m pleasantly surprised to see

                my milk has been topped up, though, why two fingers of my

                KitKat  in a V sign just beggars belief. Just tasted my milk, you

                dirty bastard. I will now be monitoring the fridge from my office.

                You will be caught.

Wednesday

                 

                  It has come to my attention, the camera monitoring the fridge

                  is now monitoring the ladies toilet. This is intolerable, you are

                  usurping my authority. Heads will roll. I will now be moving the

                  fridge into my office until further notice.

Thursday

 

                  It has come to my attention, my office has been penetrated,

                  the fridge is missing, and I find a ransom note on my desk.

                  I don’t know who you people think you're dealing with, but

                  let me leave you in no doubt, I will find out who you are, and

                  you will be dismissed.

Friday

 

                  It has come to my attention, a delivery of fifty fridges is

                  cluttering up the whole building, management is going

                  ballistic. I concede to your demands, please get rid of

                  them. Let us get back to you taking my milk and my biscuits,

                  my job, my life. Just leave me alone.

         Thankyou.