In recent years, I've wondered why I cry
My loved ones only say my naiveté is sweet
And so at first, I gave them the blame
Because at the time, all I needed was their love
But isolation left my flesh beat
And hiding was my poison
When I eventually came into the light, I searched for new poison
Because even when I let my skin rest, I still seemed to cry
And then I feared hearing my own heart beat
So I'd reach for something sweet
And binging became my new love
My acts of gluttony only ended when my body turned into my blame
As I spilled out of my wardrobe, those who died took the blame
And the sudden way in which they left became my poison
For all I asked was one last day of their love
So I'd lay before their portraits and cry
Imagining them healing me, and whispering something sweet
That wouldn't leave my vision blood-soaked and beat
Somehow, this poison was yet another that I beat
And only God was left for me to blame
So my attitude became bitter, hateful, anything but sweet
And existentialism was my worst poison
Like a fallen angel, I would desperately cry
Now absent of "His" comforting love
When flowers bloomed, I had nothing left to love
And all of my options had been beat
When I tried to discover why I cry
I was the only one to blame
And I realized that all along, I was my own poison
A conclusion I found shockingly sweet
The screaming thoughts in my head turned sweet
And I learned it was myself who I had to love
And I no longer craved poison
And by my mind, I was no longer beat
So I stopped searching for something to blame
And now I have no reason to cry
- Author: melellendixon ( Offline)
- Published: November 14th, 2021 23:05
- Comment from author about the poem: This is a Sestina I wrote about my experience with grief, love, and personal growth.
- Category: Reflection
- Views: 16
- Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek
Comments2
'When I eventually
came into the light, I searched
for new poison, Because
even, when I let my skin rest
I still, seemed to cry
And then
I feared, hearing my own
heart beat
So I'd reach, for something sweet
And binging, became
my new love
My acts of gluttony, only ended when my body
turned, into my blame
As I spilled
out of my wardrobe those who died, took
the blame
And the sudden way, in which
they left, became
my poison'..
(please
forgive, my rude
rearranging of your lines
I just wanted to showcase
your rhythm and flow, and share
how your poetry, spoke
to me)
you truly have an earnest, poetic voice
and talent
worth cultivating, even
if just for yourself, devoid
of any literary ambition;
I'm only saying this, just in case
in this cruel world
those, more meaningful people
in your life
haven't bothered, to make you aware
of this simple Truth, about yourself..
(thank you! for choosing to share
I laud, the care you've imbued into this polished write
with each meaningful reread and edit
you've adorned it with:
a Great write!
'in my humble opinion')
Thank you so much!! This made my day. Best wishes to you!
Such a well woven tale with a truly worthwhile message contained therein. Would that all those full of self doubt could read your words today and feel them instill a path to self assurance, the elixer.
Thank you so much 🙂 I'm glad it means something!
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