depressionofbecca

Just breathe, a little less

I'm struggling to breathe 

I really cant

There's something tied around my neck

I know what it is, I put it there

I look at my watch

12:23 am 

How much longer will I have to be here 

Hang here

Hang here by my neck

I inhale again

This could be it 

My last breath

I wait

12:25 am

Another breath

Another second away from eternity

Tick tock tick tock tick tock

My vision is hazy, foggy

I cant breathe now

I check my watch one last time 

12:26 am

I look straight

At nothing 

Suddenly a tear runs down my face

One stray tear

I'm sorry 

 

Comments7

  • Teddy.15

    So very sad yet extremely powerful.

  • Garth Rakumakoe

    An almost lethal affliction, I can only imagine, when one has no desire to go on... Very sad, and soberly depicted. Very real.

    • depressionofbecca

      Thank you its from my real expirences. It really is hard and thats why im away from home.

    • fallenAngel1๐Ÿ•Š

      I found this to be very difficult to read,the depth of sadness is astounding,and it's power even more so. I'm sorry your in such a degree of pain,and sorrow. I also suffer from depression,but I have this belief that suicide is the ultimate sin,the one sin God does not under any circumstances forgive,no matter what. The one sin that's guaranteed to to land my ass in hell,because that's how precious life is,mine yours,everything that lives. Just think of all our neighbouring planets with no life,and then there's earth,with its abundance of life,..each and every one precious in own unique way. Please stay strong,and know you are very special. Thank you for sharing Becca๐ŸŒŸ๐Ÿ’

      • depressionofbecca

        Everyone in my family feels the same exact way, that killing yourself is the biggest sin. But, I do see where they see that but I don't really feel that way anymore because I've been fighting these demons for so long. But, not that you said this again you have reminded me that I should keep fighting too. I now think that the reasons my prior attemps failed was because I was meant show people my life what I've gone through and help others.
        Thanks for the encouraging words

        • fallenAngel1๐Ÿ•Š

          I'v been fighting my demons for many years,and it's that one belief that keeps me going,i'v been hanging on to it for years. I hope you can find the strength to do the same,just lock up that belief within your heart and throw away the key. Stay strong๐ŸŒŸ๐ŸŒท

        • 2 more comments

        • Paul Bell

          A lot of people will relate to this, and a lot of people have ended this way. Hopefully you can help others on your journey of hope.

          • depressionofbecca

            Thank you thats the reason i write these to help others

          • Rachel Laurene

            When I was a teenager and a preteen I was suicidal. I haven't been for a very long time, but sometimes the thoughts will come back in my early twenties and I would have to breathe my way through them. It is very important to get help if you are having these feelings love. One thing which helped me the most was God, meditation, yoga and remembering how this act would effect those I leave behind more than me. It's sort of morbidly and twisted self guilting in a sense, but it got me through. Stay strong and remember that there is so much more in life to look forward to, even if it does not feel that way now โค

          • Rachel Laurene

            When I was a teenager and a preteen I was suicidal. I haven't been for a very long time, but sometimes the thoughts will come back in my early twenties and I would have to breathe my way through them. It is very important to get help if you are having these feelings love. One thing which helped me the most was God, meditation, yoga and remembering how this act would effect those I leave behind more than me. It's sort of morbidly and twisted self guilting in a sense, but it got me through. Stay strong and remember that there is so much more in life to look forward to, even if it does not feel that way now โค

          • Rachel Laurene

            Also painting, drawing and writing. Obviously it is important to still get professional help too - but these are all good outlets. When I went to treatment when I was 12/13, it was common to have meditating, yoga and art therapy as well as traditional therapy and medication.

            • depressionofbecca

              I am getting help. But, feel like its not the level of help that I need. But, I am afraid to say something because I don't to be sent away to the hospital and have to stay there. I have been using coping skills like music, dance, singing, crocheting, coloring and other things. Thank you for your concern.

              • Rachel Laurene

                I can understand that having been hospitalized myself when I was much younger, those places are never fun. Especially when they are state run. Have you perhaps considered outpatient? That way you get the full therapeutic benefits without needing to leave home at night.

              • 4 more comments



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