Paul Bell

Heaven and Hell

What are you doing up here.

Let me see now, I died, and now I’m entering heaven.

Oh, no you’re not, I’ve already spoken to Peter about you, and you’re not getting in.

Who the hell is Peter.

Saint Peter, the gatekeeper, and the keeperer out.

I thought you started afresh when you entered heaven.

Not to people who sleep with their wives' sister.

I explained that to you, we were testing the bed.

And you had to be naked to do that.

Yes, it was a water bed, and you had to be naked to test it, plus, it was a present for your 40th.

I was 37 at the time.

I know that, but it was new to the market at that particular time.

Strange how you both still used it when I died.

How do you know that.

Peter and I were watching you, collecting evidence.

That is disgusting, voyeurism from above, do you not have decency laws up here.

You did things with her, you never did with me.

Yeah, but that was only because you were so house-proud, swinging on the chandeliers would have freaked you out.

You two definitely deserved each other.

Where is the sympathy for your poor sister in her time of need, sleeping all alone in that big bed.

Oh, she’s not alone, she’s with your brother.

What, I don’t believe you, I’ll need to see this through your celestial telly, and I’m telling you now, if I find he’s in bed with your sister, there is no way he’s coming up here when he dies, the cad.

Oh, I can just see me and Peter laughing at this during our Harp recital.

                               Amen.

Comments8

  • Doggerel Dave

    Do your keep a flow chart on these relationship pieces you put out? I get about halfwaythrough them and get lost as to who is doing what to whom, when and why and to what effect.
    But don't worry - I do have a firm belief that confusion can lead to fresh insights.....who knows...I hope someone does....

    • Paul Bell


      Think how I feel writing them, and trying to keep on the right side of Peter at the same time. lol

      • Doggerel Dave

        Strenuous effort occasioning creative agony obviously......................

      • orchidee

        Good write Paul.
        Oohhh.,......where I don't sing, it's heaven; where I do sing, it's ....the other place. Doh! lol.

        • Paul Bell

          I'm hedging my bets, one just never knows these days.

        • Neville


          another great tale told terribly well and what's more, I defy anyone to read and keep a straight face ........ top notch sir ................... Neville

          • Paul Bell

            I found it very religious myself. lol

          • Teddy.15

            LOL 不 oh Paul. You can really make a poem into a carry-on film can't you. 不不不不

            • Paul Bell

              This is a serious business, Teddy. People will now know they're being watched from above, and really shouldn't be frolicking around with the sister-in-law.

              • Teddy.15

                LOL sorry Paul it's so hard to take.you serious. But yes we.should all take.great care.not to be caught from those up there. I'm Smiling now.

              • 1 more comment

              • Lorna

                Wacky and fun.....

                • Paul Bell

                  Peter didn't think so. lol

                • hotidris

                  That's a nice, humorous poem you wrote.

                  • Paul Bell

                    Glad you liked it.

                  • Goldfinch60

                    Confusion reigns! Good fun tale Paul.

                    Andy

                    • Paul Bell

                      It sure did.

                    • Garth Rakumakoe

                      Being a writer is truly something special isn't it? As special as writing something so uncannily original as this. We live in worlds unknown many a times. Truly a special gift you have sir. Story very well told Paul. With delight, I applaud!

                      • Paul Bell

                        It's amazing what you can write when you're up on a plane. lol



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