Looking out to sea, clothes ripped threadbare and torn
This once proud man, now sad and forlorn
He's nowhere to go, he's nowhere to stay
Wondering around, becomes just another day
So many years ago, when he witnessed such hell
So many tales, that he could now tell
But they don't want to know, they say go away
We don't care about you, either yesterday, tomorrow or today
If only they knew, about the battles and cries
Head in hands, as another comrade dies
The war now over, and back home he came
Nobody wanting, to even know his name
Shunned by the nation, he once fought for
Oh god he ask's, what's the use of war
This man, who once stood so proud and tall
Now remembers, how all gave some and some gave all
So please now help him, to find his dignity
Give him a home in your city
Where will you find him, he's looking out to sea
Yes I'm that man, that man is me
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Author:
Finchy (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: November 28th, 2021 06:31
- Comment from author about the poem: I've recently retired and have started to try different activities, and this is my very first poem, and personal i think its not half bad, would be very interested in any comment Ray
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 29
Offline)
Comments3
Often times it's difficult to be critical of someone else's poetry, especially when experience or subject clashes with form. There aren't a lot of people on this site that will tell you a poem is downright bad, but some might. This poem gives me the feeling of an American soldier coming back from Vietnam. Them being shunned, and all that. It's quite good for a first attempt; a few grammatical errors but in poetry that's no crime. I'd say it's a fine example of a man's reflection on his life as he searches for something new. I enjoyed the read, and welcome to MPS.
Thank you for your comment,
You're right, it's not half bad, in fact it's very good. Hard to believe it is your first poem. You obviously have been harbouring a great talent. I hope you are going to write more for us.
For me there are no rules in poetry, do your own thing. We use language and that is a fluid thing which is constantly changing, the old rules go out of the window.
Welcome to MPS a friendly place to post your poetry. This place works best if we read each others stuff and leave a comment where we think it's appropriate. Along the way you'll get to make friends if youre anything like me. Please feel free to throw stones (or bricks) at anything I post on here. Enjoy yourself.
Thank you yes some might say the grammar is not correct but I think with a poem there is no right or wrong it all depends how the words flow from the author your comment is much appreciated
Powerful words Ray, and so very true. It is so sad the way those who have fought for our country are so awfully ignored by those in power who went them out to fight in the first palce.
Welcome to MPS.
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