Santa's Dilema

Paul Bell

Dear Santa

I’m writing early this year
Especially after the debacle of last year
You delivered the sexy underwear and the two-day hotel break to my wife
What the hell were you thinking
Does my wife look like she can get into a size ten
You useless fat bastard
Two days I had to suffer the wife parading herself
It was psychological torture
Swear to god, if I could’ve got my hands on you
Still swithering on sueing your fat ass
This year I’m going to lay it on the line
Deliver it to the wrong address
Your Ho ho ho, will be, Oh oh oh
Do I make myself clear
Now listen up
Face pack and support tights
They go to the wife
Basque and French knickers, hotel included
To the lover
Don’t make me go back to that hotel with the wife
Or, I swear, you’ll be wearing those reindeers
Do you need a reminder
Have you got it now
Oh, and merry Christmas.

  • Author: Paul Bell (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: December 7th, 2021 05:22
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 18
  • Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek
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Comments +

Comments6

  • AL17

    Haha! Nice one Paul

    • Paul Bell

      Glad you enjoyed it.

    • L. B. Mek

      I grinned like a mad hatter clown
      and then I guffawed
      looked around sheepishly, apologised
      then went back to laughing, quietly
      Brilliant fun! 🤣
      thank you, a wonderful treat

      • Paul Bell

        Just glad I sent him my list before I posted it.

      • orchidee

        I saw a Santa in John Lewis store. I thought he would be too 'common', too childish for their 'superior' stores! lol.

        • Paul Bell

          So true, even to posh for posh people.

        • Lorna

          You must be so much fun to have around the house..... I laughed so hard. Thanks.

          • Paul Bell

            Great with power tools. lol

          • Draven

            LOL!

            • Paul Bell

              He'll not do that again.

            • Goldfinch60

              Good fun write Paul.

              Andy

              • Paul Bell

                It was a bit. lol



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