On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me an angry red faced court judge
On the second day Christmas my true love gave to me
2 settlement figures and an angry red faced court judge
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me three court dates, two settlement figures and an angry red faced court judge
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me four lawyers notes, three court dates, two settlement figures and an angry red faced court judge
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A file for divorce
four lawyers notes, three court dates, two settlement figures and an angry red faced court judge
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me six bills need paying
A file for divorce
four lawyers notes, three court dates, two settlement figures and an angry red faced court judge
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Seven days to leave home, six bills need paying
A file for divorce
four lawyers notes, three court dates, two settlement figures and an angry red faced court judge
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
Eight ways to hate her, seven days to leave home, six bills need paying
A file for divorce
four lawyers notes, three court dates, two settlement figures and an angry red faced court judge
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me nine years of hell
Eight ways to hate her, seven days to leave home, six bills need paying
A file for divorce
four lawyers notes, three court dates, two settlement figures and an angry red faced court judge
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me ten accusations, nine years of hell
Eight ways to hate her, seven days to leave home, six bills need paying
A file for divorce
four lawyers notes, three court dates, two settlement figures and an angry red faced court judge
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me eleven angry phone calls, ten accusations, nine years of hell
Eight ways to hate her, seven days to leave home, six bills need paying
A file for divorce
four lawyers notes, three court dates, two settlement figures and an angry red faced court judge
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me 12 weeks 'til freedom, eleven angry phone calls, ten accusations, nine years of hell
Eight ways to hate her, seven days to leave home, six bills need paying
A file for divorce
four lawyers notes, three court dates, two settlement figures and an angry red faced court judge......
And all because I said she looked fat in her new dress! Tch women!
-
Author:
Saxon Crow (
Offline) - Published: December 10th, 2021 01:17
- Comment from author about the poem: I hope I don't offend anyone with this Yule Tide piece. T'is only in jest. Merry Christmas all
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 25
- Users favorite of this poem: dusk arising, Coyote.
Offline)
Comments9
My first laugh of the day, thank you SC.
Andy
Glad you liked it. That's what you get when you wake up far too early with time to kill!
There is just not enough time in the mornings for me!!
1 more comment
....Has to be a moral there somewhere....
....yep...got it... thanks Sax
Talk about over reaction lol . It’s never nice to be called fat tho .. or to be criticised ,
Just some British irony Rose. Nothing in it.
Oh lol, good write SC.
Thanjs Orchi
We can't win they tell us to agree with all they say and when we do we are still in the wrong. Extremely funny take on a Christmas classic. Thanks for the laugh☺
Something is definitely inspiring you SC - whatever it is it is making me laugh out loud.....
I'm thinking you won't call her fat again. Mind you, the settlement will mean she can afford a personal trainer, though I wouldn't mention that either.
Lol. Nice one 🤣
Blimey, anyone who fears the question "does my bum look big in this" will deffo be terrified now.
Brilliant concept, brilliant execution gotta be in my favourites. Top class writing Saxon well done mate.
Literally LOL! Hilariously brilliant🙂
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.