Perfect((ion)ist))

My perfectionist nature was born from myself.

My inability to fail myself

and those I care about and want to impress.

Because if I do. Oh god if I do

The world, my world,

will come crumbling down around me and those I love.

My friends, family

parents, and authority figures

will stop seeing me as

the best, most excellent, and impeccable person

I make myself out to be.

I cannot have that.

This is not due to my dyslexia or my ADHD.

My need for perfection is not a negative.

My perfectionism is the essence of who I am.

It has gotten me straight A’s,

Made me a high school graduate,

 a junior at one of the best universities in Texas

studying English and Creative Writing,

and a member of Sigma Tau Delta and NSLS.

Even when I break under my self-inflicted pressure,

Even when I am drowning in a pool of my own tears,

I know that everything will turn out perfect in the end.