a taste to forget

dusk arising

 

now everything
tastes of drugs
and i am tainted
polluted by saviour
as cheemo rules
my body and brain
befuddled with no memory
overbalancing, vomiting
stumbling, staring, sleeping
ah yes sleep takes my days
onto strange beds
in clinical wards
a land of anyone else
but mine
where is mine
where is my mind
where is my life and hope
and all i want is to goto work
where i do good
people like me
and i'm not a burden
on this sickbed of sorrows
like a total waste of space

  • Author: dusk arising (Offline Offline)
  • Published: December 24th, 2021 03:51
  • Comment from author about the poem: memories of chemotherapy in 2019 and 2021
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 31
  • Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek, spilleronsheet.
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Comments7

  • Crowns4Christ

    You are not a waste of space dus,k,your work is a welcome read anytime

    • dusk arising

      I was a waste of space mid therapy in 2019 when i wrote this. Thank you Blue Orchid

    • Crowns4Christ

      Why did you need chemotherapy,if you don't mind my asking
      Cancer has taken hold of my family too

      • dusk arising

        For a cancer in 2019 which returned in 2021.... cancer is everywhere.

        • Crowns4Christ

          I'm sorry, that has got to be hard.what kind of cancer,I consider you a friend, even though we had some problems, is it okay if I pray for you

          • 2 more comments

        • Violet bluebell( used to be yellow rose)

          I’m sorry you had to go through that. And that your having to go through chemo again ()

        • woundedheart

          My father is going through this right now so found this piece very touching and heart wrenching, you captured this wonderfully. Merry Christmas 🎅

          • dusk arising

            It can feel very lonely if people wont let you share what youre going through so make sure you talk to him about the nitty gritty of treatment and how its effecting him. Talking about what youre all going to do as a family once treatment has been recovered from is very important too if thats appropriate.
            Merry christmas to you and yours.

          • L. B. Mek

            I have no words, to appease or attempt to ease the suffering
            you're fighting through, dear Poet
            but if I may, let me remind you
            of all the comments and praise
            your Poetry, has gifted you
            this year,
            words of thanks, for sharing
            your insight and wisdom
            and helping, so many
            glean a little more understanding
            about life
            or giving them, lifeline that escape
            even for just a few, treasured minutes
            lost, engrossed
            in your poetic genius..
            (so no, I refute your last line
            wholeheartedly
            as a 'waste of space', wouldn't
            be deserving of all the love you receive!)
            Stay strong, dear Poet
            in those Timeless words
            of Dylan Thomas:
            'Do not go gentle into that good night,
            Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
            Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

            Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
            Because their words had forked no lightning they
            Do not go gentle into that good night.'

            • dusk arising

              I'm very familiar with those words of Dylan Thomas (I used to recite them in a piece of music my group performed).
              This piece was written in 2019 and describes how i felt in the worst days of chemo/radiotherapy. I'm not going to be on chemo again until the new year so at the moment i'm relatively quite well. The waste of space line is a hint of negativity of spirit creeping in to an otherwise very positive attitude.
              Thank you for your very considered comments LBM.

            • spilleronsheet

              Dear Dusk
              No words can reduce the pains that you went through
              Still I would like to say, your warrior
              With so much pain engulfed your pen radiates hope, strength and gives the vibe to fight the dark pains and the difficult days
              With great insights, you make us look at world with opportunities
              I learn a lot from the poetic words you craft
              Sir your work is exemplary and no waste of space
              Such refinement can never be compared
              Thanks for making us read to such deep meanings and beautiful insights
              The true reality that world lives in
              And teaching us the word ‘gratitude’
              I can’t imagine how tough it is to face such harsh pains
              Big cheers from my side
              You have overcome the pains in past
              And you will do it again
              Your a winner sir

              • dusk arising

                Thank you spiller, youre very kind. There's nothing brave or corageous in putting up a fight when the alternative is to die my friend. I was always in a positive mindframe dealing with chemo's side effects but yes some negative feelings would creep in for a short while when i was feeling sorry for myself thoroughly worn down by drugs. I shall be on chemo again next year though a different regieme.... lets see whay it brings out in me LOL.

                • spilleronsheet

                  All will be surely well
                  Your lines “Do or die “ gives me huge strength
                  Best of luck dear Dusk

                • Goldfinch60

                  Your mind will return soon and all will be wonderful d a.

                  Andy

                  • dusk arising

                    I'm OK at the moment Andy. This piece was written in 2019 in the thick of it.



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