Alphabet Of Epitaphs

Here lies Anna, also known as one of the infamous black widows

Who claimed all of her husband’s smothered themselves with the pillows

Here lies Benjamin, thought himself a daredevil without a fear

First stunt and he wound up here

Here lies Caitlin, she always claimed that she was bestowed a curse

No one really believed her until she fell out of the hearse

Here lies Don Juan, to take on 22 women in one day was very brave

And he went with a huge smile to his grave

Here lies Elaina, who held in her gases believing it was a sin

Who knew you could literally explode from holding in wind

Here lies Frank, his enormous ego was his biggest flaw

He was quick on the trigger, but slow on the draw

Here lies Gemma, thought herself sophisticated and upper class

Who aimed for the brake and hit the gas

Here lies Hendrix, a daredevil bad boy who all the girls thought cute

Till the day he went sky diving and forgot his parachute

Here lies Irene, died at 102, outlived her daughter and son

Guess its true only the good die young

Here lies James, told his wife her sister was cute, a huge blunder

Because now he lies here six feet under

Here lies Kim, no one believed her as she always liked to play a trick

Now on her grave written are her last words “I told you I was sick”.

Here lies Lafayette, there are a lot of gossip and rumors you may hear

But its none of your business how I ended up here

Here lies Molly, whenever someone went missing, a party she would arrange

And no one said anything but the meat tasted strange

Here lies Norman; he never chewed his food, from a steak to a banana

And in the end he choked & died from a sultana

Here lies Olive, thought to be, by the town, a witch

All of her exes claim it false; she was just a royal bitch

Here lies Percy, so rich his family slowly poisoned him till he was gravely ill

He had the last laugh when they found he left them with nothing but a huge bill

Here lies Quinine, she & her boyfriend tried position 69 at the sauna with little trepidation

He died of suffocation because she died on top of him from dehydration

Here lies Rocco, he was a bull rider & one day he forgot to let go

The bull started to ride him; I guess you reap what you sow

Here lies Samantha, in life everyone thought her a bimbo

When given an option in the afterlife, she proved them wrong by choosing limbo

Here lies Timothy, as a true atheist he claimed to be king

Now all dressed up, with nowhere to go the poor thing

Here lies Uma, obsessed with Botox, to the point where she couldn’t frown

One  day her face collapsed & died looking like a horror clown

Here lies Victor, he the world’s greatest fraud

Now I wonder how much he has swindled the devil and god

Here lies Willow, while tweeting about seeing a guy showing his butt crack

She didn’t see the metal post & died instantly when she gave it a whack

Here lies Xander, who tried to poison his wife & make it look like suicide

But the fool ended up drinking the cup with cyanide

Here lies Yana, was a blonde playboy model & a girlfriend of a billionaire

Always forgetful till the day she forgot how to breathe air

Here lies Zack, went and jumped off the highest tower

When he found out his ‘girlfriend’ of 25 years was charging him by the hour.