Encounter with guardian angel January 20th, 2022

We (myself and thee missus)

experienced shell shock

analogous to war weary soldiers
back home from the western front

experiencing battlefield flashback

analogous to awakening dormant

post traumatic stress disorder.

Mental health challenged renter

twice threatened us

(think rabid wild animal

violently lunging at unwitting victim),

whereby nearly deadly encounter

with malicious malevolent male

regarding second confrontation

found dearly beloved spouse,

rushing pell mell into apartment

faster than bat out of hell.

The initial occasion of fright

awakened us to bizarre ejaculations
out the mouth of unhinged
forty one year old

mental health challenged individual,

who uttered angry

string of colorful expletives

before he ambled off in a huff

into the great beyond

undoubtedly bringing bedlam
in his wake beyond highland manor.

Incident number two

found the missus

cornered and threatened

courtesy fiendish irate lunatic,

who brandished clenched fist

(possibly concealing a deadly weapon)

scaring the heebie jeebies

out the lovely bones of ma lady

subsequently witnessing daredevil escape.

She tore off (in half sashay)

away from maws of maniacal madman

at breakneck speed

just managing to elude

fate worse than death

(think skin of her teeth getaway)

breathless and thankfully just

in nick of time safely ensconced

within our apartment.

Once she (figuratively) caught her breath,

after smattering of scant minutes,

we both collected our composure

immediately and suddenly heard

an unexpected loud rap upon door

late morning/early afternoon

circa aforementioned date,

which initially understandably

signalled immediate alarm,

and puzzled deux countenances

startling yours truly and mine wife,

of course set our hearts racing

a mile a minute,

cuz we presumed the psychotic dude

returned to wreak vengeance

for no particular rhyme nor reason.

I dashed to answer pounding knock

lo and behold, unbeknownst to us

divine intervention beheld as benevolence

forsooth a good samaritan hashtagged

and dubbed saving grace

gussied up as brilliant ethereal spirit

shone forth greeting yours truly

with a shimmering halo,

thus thankfully nipping in bud
and thwarting potential major crisis,

predicated upon our forgetfulness
courtesy discombobulated

disgruntled, and distracted demeanor

to remove apartment key

and other important keys

from respective aperture,

which as averred got left dangling

outside the door

amidst the hubbub,

said good samaritan savior incognito

politely handed over jingling keys,

she unwittingly intervened

in timely manner

cuz someone could have

brazenly stolen set

lock, stock and barrel,

which oversight linkedin

to altercations with resident schizophrenic.