I wish that you could hear me
All the years that I've spent screaming
And it all was for nothing.
I wish that you could see
Who you are underneath
All the hurt and rage
You let a demon take your place
Mom got slammed into a cage.
And I think that's when she caved.
As the days have turned to nights
I've watched the fading in her light
If only she could see herself
Through my eyes
And though your body is still here mom
I'm left grieving the loss
Because I know that you've been gone
It weighs on me so heavily
That I couldn't break you free
That I couldn't snap you out of it
That you may be gone for eternity
And looking at my son
I fear for what's to come
I witness a warrior, a true woman of God,
Not just crumble and fall
But never get back up at all
I worry that it will happen to me
That one day I'll break
And my son will see what I'm seeing
And though my hours are filled sorrow and worry
I try to stay present
So he doesn't have to miss me
I think of you in the cold
And settling for that "man"
While I beat myself up about it
It's really out of my hands
So I'm going to try
To do what I always do
Pick myself back up
And remember the best parts of you.
No one can ever
Take your place
But i must move on
Or I'll be stuck in the same space.
Ever so truly
I love you mom
And I've sincerely missed you
Since you've been gone
One day I know
That your body will leave me too
Quite frankly,
We're just waiting on the final phase...
Round two...
It's been a type of cancer
That next to no one knows about
I've literally watched you rot
From the inside out
One day
We'll be putting you in the grave..
And I just don't know
If things will ever be okay.
So for now.
I continue to put my head down.
Keep my mind distracted,
All eyes are on me now...
-
Author:
Shandi (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: January 22nd, 2022 12:50
- Comment from author about the poem: This poem is about struggling with pain from grieving the loss of my mother. She is still alive, but in a sense, she has passed years ago. This is a little insight on the damage a mix of addiction and mental illnesses can cause. A family torn, a mother suffering and choosing to quit the fight. And those that love her, that can't change her, who also pay the price.
- Category: Family
- Views: 23
Offline)
Comments3
This was an amazing write, and I hope your mom gets better.
Thank you very much for your time and support! I certainly appreciate it. 🙂
These words are so strong, they reach the heart and can feel your grieve and pain, but It also says the great person you are and I know your mum is fighting a big battle and hope she be ok and also you be well, and someone who writes as you do says it all, you have a lovely soul,
Thank you very much for your kind and supportive feedback. I appreciate it alot. Much love and light to you and yours ❤️
I hope your mum will get better and that you and your family will get through this. All the very best.
Thank you very very much. Your comment is much appreciated
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