On Suicides

Makoto Maruyama

I’m obsessed with suicide cases in our society. Japan was a country with many suicides. Since April 2020, when the pandemic became known to the public in Japan, a lot of celebrity suicides have been reported.

 

The first one that shocked me was Japanese actress Yuiko Takeuchi. She passed away suddenly, leaving behind her children. Another recent case was Sayaka Kanda. She also committed suicide suddenly and for unknown reasons.

 

Yeah, maybe I know their reasons, Empty sat on a wall, Empty had a great fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn’t put Empty together again. The nothing say; come, come, come. Same rightnow. That's why I'm writing this.

 

Looking back, many people have passed away. My grandparents, the master of my favorite jazz bar, 80 years old woman at my favorite coffee shop; we called “mom”, my artist friends;  Juliana Yassin, Lee Wen from Singapore and Mariana Picart from Uruguay. John Giorno, a respected poet, I met him twice, also passed away in 2019.

 

There are as many losses as people I met, and maybe I can't expect to meet new people to make up for it.

 

It’s cold, so I turn on the stove, but the windows are fogged up white and I can’t see out. Early morning, maybe the sky is gray, I think. I like this time of day.

 

A little black thing among the snow; crying weep, weep, in notes of woe!

 

I'm not interested in Napoléon Bonaparte, who killed millions and became a hero, I'm more interested in Raskolnikov, who only one old woman murder makes a villain.

 

Isn't killing when anyone is cornered a compensatory act for killing his/herself?

 

The nothing say; come, come, come. Someone that would go to sea for pleasure, would go to hell for a pastime.

  • Author: Makoto Maruyama (Offline Offline)
  • Published: January 30th, 2022 21:23
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 13
  • User favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek.
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Comments1

  • L. B. Mek

    sadly, I don't think the words you chose
    portrayed the complex colours of your mixed emotions
    on this topic, but
    I want to 'assume'
    based on the empathy you've demonstrated
    in your previous work, this write was no mere callously worded commentary
    on what is a Very sensitive, subject
    instead
    I want to choose, to believe
    that you were, (in your own way)
    digging deep
    into your, capacity to encapsulate
    the meaning, we assign
    to the loss of life, be it
    via the hands of a stranger
    or our very own;
    irrespective of society's 'taboos'
    in awarding, sympathy
    to those who are defeated by their own
    devastatingly, self-destructive
    mindsets...
    (and yes
    when I heard about Yuko Takeuchi
    I literally, spat-out what I was drinking
    and felt like someone I knew in real life, had died
    I still vividly remember
    her vibrant zest for life, shining through
    in her
    hopeful character's, in Pride and Lunch no Joō (The Queen of Lunch)..
    what a beautiful, gentle heart
    she must have had
    to be able to portray, such timeless characters
    *before her ex husband
    and life, in general
    hammered her resolve, into
    that shattered heart, she left behind*)
    but there was no suicide note, so I hope
    it was just some complication or accidental, situation
    that took her from us, far too early!
    (may she rest in peace)..
    and I'm so sorry about the losses you have had to deal with,
    I have lost very close family members during covid as well,
    so I completely empathise, but sadly
    all I can do is offer you
    my sincere commiserations, dear poet
    may they rest in peace, as well
    stay strong!

    • Makoto Maruyama

      Thanks for your long comment. I’m surprised that you know Yuiko Takeuchi, my favorite actress, and I am grateful that you cry for her. Her death was a great loss for me. We all have losses in our lives. It is a sad thing. We have to get over it. Thank you for your encouragement .



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