Torn Apart

My parents have made me cry
Nearly countless times
My siblings are favored
While I'm a thought for later
Roses for them, shouting for me.
Making me wish
That I was free
But I'm stuck here,
Tangled in this mess
Hoping and begging
To be put to rest

Portraits on the wall claim we're all "united."
Like the red-white-blue blood
that pulses through our veins
Each smiling face a star on the flag,
And though they glow on camera
it's all in vain.
No pretense can hide the reality,
or better said duality
That double-edged blade been cutting me up
for 16 damn years, Oh father, mother,
If you only knew my dream has always been to disappear.

Hits, yells, profanity
This isn't where I want to be
The tears never fail to fall
Forced to let down my walls
A mistake amongst "angels"
My siblings, more like devils
My heart often aches,
It was all torn apart.
Right in front of my face.

A 3 pound clay ashtray right between the eyes
Blood splatters everywhere
A 3am hanging outside my window by telephone cord
not meant to hold the weight of a grown man,ha ha ha
A 4am kitchen bar b q,human arm the main course
please excuse the skin hanging off the bone
2 stabs to the chest with large kitchen knife at 2am
Would you like some blood with your tomatoe soup
If you want have me,nobody will. He tells my alcoholic mom.

Pushed around once again
"You're such a slut"
For what? Having friends?
God you make me want to end it all
Except, it already feels like I'm dying
When you tell me your room is more important then my safety
I want to hurt you but I still love you for some strange reason
I mean after all, you are my mom....

You drive me to take a blade to my wrist
Are all families normally like this?
I hurt, I cry,
But I hide it inside
Afraid to reach out,
To be yelled at
For asking for help

Turning red from so much anger
And tears of rage streaming down my face
I love so much but want to hang'er
And get the fuck out of this god awful place
2 more years of drunken fights
Beer bottles against the wall
At 15 I took my flight
Only to find where angels fall

Glass in between the cracks of my soul,
And then commence the memories.
Oh, the telephone cord still beckons me
The liquor breath still threatens me,
My winged nightmares are strengthening.
And I - I'm trembling.
No longer does that starred flag wave,
It's cold and dull, like the rest of my days.

Slaps to the face makes me feel like a disgrace.
Choking from your hold I do as I am told.
Yelling, screaming, trying to be heard, i hope you don't look at me so absurd.
please don't hurt me i say, although i am going to run away. fuck this feeling of betrayal, hope to see you at my burial...