Letting Go... {9th Of July 2020}

 I'm trying my best to remain calm & in control...

But my thoughts & feelings are on a high, like a wild fire struck in a maze... 

Everything just all a blaze...

I don't know if I can truly let it all go...?

I dont think I can & then suddenly I know I can't...

That's when my mess gets extra messy & slippery places no longer need my control...

Oil & water spots will be my plots...

I'll fall so hard & lose what I've gained...

Walking on my lonely road once again, because truth be told its easier than facing my pain... 

But harder each time to come back from...

I don't wanna do this again & again...

So I need to really know if I really can let this betrayal from you go & try to move on...

Its knocked me for six, you getting your kicks, treating me like dirt so you could fuck & flirt...

I'd like to believe I'm older, wiser, matured a little & stronger from the addict that was once weak so to speak...

But the fact will always remain that addict & me have exactly the same name...

Getting though everyday is a bonus for my sobriety...

This you knew, this you see, but still felt the need to belittle & betray me...

Please god grant me serenity...