Easier Said Than Done

It’s easier said than done

Just continuing and feeling like a shell of myself

I’m drained from being the one, the one who always looks out for everyone

My struggles and emotions keep locked inside a shelf- the shelf that holds each bullet for my gun

It feels like I’m stuck in a dark place only to shatter my mental health

Why haven’t I pulled the trigger of the gun?

Throwback back to five years ago, I had fought incredibly hard to get these demons out of my brain

I started being truly content again but only this time I knew that life was no longer some buttoned up fairytale lived under a rose coloured lense

If you went inside the deepest and darkest depths of my thoughts then you’d label me as insane

Unfortunately these tremendously malicious and barbaric thoughts are no longer only past tense

I feel like I’m living dead

Should I keep dreaming & carry on?

I try to remain strong using my inner strength with every ounce and every thread

As I already claimed it’s easier said than done but will I ever find a place where I belong?