Definition of Love

When I was 9

I looked up the definition of love after school

This was because a classmate had told me that my mom didn't love my dad and that was sad

I tried to tell her that my mom did still love my dad they just don't live together anymore

Google told me love consisted of a full house

 

When I was 11 

I looked up the definition of love after a bath

Where I had cried to God because if he loved all of his creations then why did I feel like this

I had asked him to let me feel any sort of joy again for all of my commitment to him

Google told me that it was when you couldn't help but smile all the time (I never spoke to him again)

 

When I was 12

I looked up the definition of love after math class

My friends all talked about their crushes and I 

I didn't ever feel like that

Google told me it was when someone made you blush

 

When I was 13

I looked up the definition of love after a sleepover

No matter how many people told me it was wrong

Her lips had been so soft

Google told me it was when someone gave you butterflies (I knew I was right)

 

When I was 15 

I looked up the definition of love after German class

 After he showed me a picture of his pie 

And told me it was of me because I was his cutie pie

Google told me it was when someone compliments you

 

When I was 16 

I looked up the definition of love after a Halloween party

We went dressed as Ariel and Eric

And my blue skirt wasn't long enough to save me

Google told me that it was when you stayed committed to someone and everything would work out (It was never worth it) 

 

When I was 17 

I looked up the definition of love after a football game

Where I had begun to feel like there was a hole in me 

That could never be filled

Google told me that when some people experience trauma they can be left feeling numb for years

 

When I was 19 

I looked up the definition of love after therapy 

Where I had finally felt the hole inside of me fill

Not with someone else but with my own reflection

Google told me that loving yourself is more important than anything else