The silence in my head is so loud,
All I can hear is my blood rushing through my system.
A quiet ringing invades my thoughts.
But no words.
How can one person have so many words inside of them?
And another so little?
How can one person sit and talk for hours on end about one thing?
And another have nothing to say at the end?
How does one go from raging emotions to blank space in a matter of seconds?
Because that's what I am.
A big, empty blank space.
No matter how hard I try,
I can't bring myself to talk.
As if there is a barrier around my mind,
Around my words.
Someone has locked them up
And all I can do is sit in the silence and let it overtake me.
Every once in a while, the barrier cracks
And words flood into my heart,
Try to claw their way out of my throat.
But, someone has placed another barrier-
Over my mouth.
When I do have words, they're internal.
No matter how much I want to say them
Or I know that I should say them,
Something stops me every time.
Catches my tongue at the last second.
Reigns in my thoughts like a wild horse that needs tampering.
Someone is behind the curtain, always snuffing out my flame.
And there is no one else to stop them.
Nothing can stop the right hand that suffocates me.
My friends are always asking for answers I can't give them.
Literally. There are things I want to say but when it is time for those words to make their way out,
Someone holds them back, erases them from my memory.
And I am left with silence.
-
Author:
she_was_torture (
Offline) - Published: February 27th, 2022 18:27
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 10
- Users favorite of this poem: L. B. Mek
Offline)
Comments1
'When I do have words, they're internal.'
and that's perfectly normal
(imagine it this way
if you were a librarian
this very same traits
you so disdain
would make you a superstar)
lol
forgive me, I'm not making light
or trying to add to the toxicity
of a world you're so disillusioned with;
rather, I just wanted
to drop-in a little perspective..
see, often
its not our good or bad habits
that makes us feel so isolated
it more likely to be
that we're so overwhelmed
by our inner monologues
and thought processes, we lack
the opportunity to look up
and around us, to see
everyone else, is dealing
with similarly crippling
fears and insecurities
the only difference
is that their biological lottery ticket
gifts, allows them
more substantial
coping methodologies, where us
some of us have to do it all
on our own
but we must be careful, Not
to confuse
being alone, with being lonely..
if the world isn't a good fit for you
then F'ck it
you just concentrate on the minutia details
that offer you some respite
maybe by concentrating on them
you'll path a way to like minded people
and a place in the world, you feel comfortable
being yourself!
(such a wonderfully expressive write
thank you! for choosing to share)
I wish you, the very best!
(please forgive me if you find my words in any way disagreeable
I meant no disrespect)
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