rehab

I'm in rehab,

learning to lose self-sabotaging addiction.

I've been here for a few months now.

I've relapsed a few times.

Tried to run away from healing a few times.

Until each pain-filled event led me back. 

I've learned how to fight cravings.

I go on runs to cleanse my body and soul.

I still have withdrawals.

Nights and mornings,

I shiver and rock back and forth.

sweating and letting tears pour out of my eyes.

I can't stop screaming.

But I hold myself through this.

knowing it will pass,

and I will be clean.

The day comes and I've overcome the withdrawals.

But when it creeps up

yelling, "you're all alone" 

I go and cleanse my body and soul.

I bathe in the wind,

and I am welcomed back home.

As the sky cries,

and the plants sweat and tremble,

mother earth lets me know I am no longer alone.

as I never was.

This is my retreat.

She sings to me and sends me small angels.

And I find that inside of myself, and outside of myself

I am free.