See that wave in the water right over there?
You are desolate and alone just like that wave,
Letting itself be exactly as it is.
These waves are exactly like you,
crashing into you to make you disappear only to re-emerge once again.
You are this energy that flows down in your heart.
to make you alone and calm, just as the wave.
Let yourself be as you are.
Sometimes people lose trust in themselves,
And then they distrust the wave itself and maybe other people too.
But there is actually nothing to fear,
When you touch the quiet aloneness of what we all are,
Not just touch the you or touch the me,
But tap into the sky, for example, that you see free, way up there;
Then you see it is just as you have always seen it:
Alive as you,
Alive in wonder,
Alive in yourself and also free
To trust the sky.
To trust the sky,
is to trust you and to trust you is to trust me.
I don’t remember the rest,
But that is actually best.
To get it all perfect would be rather unfortunate,
I might mess it up.
for I risk messing around with the things I think I understand,
which of course,
are limited.
And in a way, it would be greedy.
You are like me,
a good little poet,
And maybe you know this already.
For these lines were always here.
I hope I am not considered the author.
No one can be.
I will write that now to myself and to you.
For myself and for you.
Here,
In my place,
Where the gift of songs unites us.
It would be a shame,
and even unlikely,
to be kept to myself.
-
Author:
Dhanya (
Offline) - Published: March 9th, 2022 00:38
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 26
Offline)
Comments1
Wow Dhanya this was truly a powerful a piece. I mean the analogies you incorporate like the sea and the sky and the whole general meaning of this is spectacular. "To trust the sky, is to trust you and to trust you is to trust me." I mean WOW that is truly some profound but wise advice right there. I would love to help you and give constructive criticism so I'll start with a line towards the end, "I will write that now to myself and to you." I find it hard to "critique" other's work since poetry is truly a subjective thing and everyone expresses themselves differently, however, I feel that this line maybe is missing a little specificity. Now once again, since I'm not the one writing this poem, I can't tell you whether or not this was intentional since sometimes poets leave out details in order to leave room for ambiguity and interpretation. But perhaps stating or maybe describing the "that" a little more will help support the strength of your message. This was great Dhanya! 💖
Thank you so much Rocky, that is a very astute observation. I was only partially aware of it before. I am excited to try to use this concept in later poems. Thank you for noting my poem was a "truly powerful piece". I do shoot for the powerful feeling of poems. The power to invite others to have a chance to feel the movement I was experiencing in my own natural environment. Your comment shows you caught on to that. Thank you so much for that!
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