It's hard to live
in the now
To breathe any breaths.
I am encapsulated,
an iron lung, each
breath
must be diligently thought out
as if one imperfectly placed
inhale
could tick off the wrong nerve.
As I speak my knees tickle,
heals feel as if I have tread spikes.
i can't
help but feel i am responsible.
I've meticulously calculated each of my needed
exhales, at the expense of every nerve,
every cell;
my humanity has fled.
starved and immobile,
how do i live
breathe
without further distress?
-
Author:
Daya (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: March 12th, 2022 21:13
- Comment from author about the poem: Living with anxiety and depression can be debilitating. Often times, I find myself trapped in thought loops - a trauma response that redirects my attention to things I can control. Sometimes, the only thing you can control are your breaths. Your breathing. Even then, you must sacrifice some power. When breathing is a center of thought loops, and I can't get any assignments done, when the thought of an unfulfilling future tempts me to dooming ways, it is the most intimate time I have with myself. I am an iron lung. I've become so conditioned by these thought loops, breath control and tension has impacted my state of mind and being. Taking the time to let your body be, it is a lesson I am learning as a 22 year old - the lesson that the most harm done to myself has been through my fixations. It is an endless cycle, my nerves still tingle, and that is my signal to step back for a while. Let go, and let the universe love me as I am so unable to do myself.
- Category: Reflection
- Views: 7
Offline)
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