No, we will trust not them,
For our words are often mocked -
And the path they tiringly pave for them - won’t lead them to become.
They will never see the sun,
And the shiny Threshold will go rot -
No, we will trust not them.
The façade’s been overdone,
All the spotlights have rain-dropped,
And the path they tiringly pave for them - won’t lead them to become.
Once the Abyss has begun,
Our resounding songs will reach rooftops.
No, we will trust not them.
The Unknown weaves unease with silks unspun
Yet, when faced with fear we will not stop -
And the path they tiringly pave for them - won’t lead them to become.
With our worth treasured evermore, we will never succumb,
The Return won’t ignite fear anymore, the Threshold now has a lock,
No, we will trust not them –
And the path they tiringly pave for them - won’t lead them to become.
- Author: Rocky Lagou ( Offline)
- Published: March 14th, 2022 10:33
- Comment from author about the poem: This is my first ever try on a villanelle, and let me tell you, it wasn't an easy undertaking. But, it was loads of fun. I'm starting to realize that most of my poetry is reflection and honestly, it fits my character. This poem centers on trusting YOURSELF and not allowing for the world's influences to alter you mindset. It focuses on facing your fears with a headstrong frame of mind and making decisions on your own without that constant control of power. This poem also takes inspiration from The Hero's Journey which is a common template for most stories that has a protagonist go through a hectic quest that eventually leads to enlightenment (Kind of like The Odyssey.) You'll note that when you see certain words capitalized like "Threshold," "Abyss," "Return," etc... Hope you enjoy! ✍✨
- Category: Reflection
- Views: 59
- Users favorite of this poem: theneophiles_words
Comments10
Damn I’ve only scratched the surface with poetry
Hehe!! You're too kind. I'm gonna be honest, I was debating posting this or not because it's my first ever villanelle and I felt a little hesitant as to whether people will enjoy it. But seeing this really boosts my mood. Also, you are a great poet, you have surely scratched, penetrated, and engulfed yourself into the world of poetry and I appreciate your works! Have a wonderful day! ✨👍
A nice write, has a projection of strength and power in it.
Thanks a bunch! I'm glad to see you felt the tone of this poem as a strived to create a sense of conviction and directness. Have a great day! 👍
A good villanelle - having looked up what it is! lol.
No use asking me of 'professional' comments - very un-cultured as I am. Never written one, not heard of them much. I thought ya meant vanilla ice cream. heehee.
No issues Orchi! I'm not gonna lie sometimes I also come across poetic terms that I just stare at bewilderedly. But everyday we learn something new am I right? Thanks very much for your uplifting feedback, I really appreciate it! (Vanilla ice cream does sound pretty good right now 😅) Have a great day!
What's them iambic pentameter things in poetry?! We might be using them without knowing it. lol.
Honestlyyy!! It's funny though because when we actually take some time to research these odd terms it's often easier than we think. I did take a short course about prosody (meter in poetry) and it's really not as hard as it seems. An "iamb" is just simply a "foot," or a 2 syllable section of a line of poetry that has a strong emphasis on the 1st syllable and a softer emphasis on the 2nd syllable, so it would be like "DUMda." So a word that has 2 syllables like "coffee" can be counted as one "foot" in a line of poetry that is an iamb, "COFFee." So in a nutshell, an "iambic pentameter" poem would be a poem that has each line consisting of 5 "feet." hence the Greek prefix "penta" which simply means 5, with an iambic pattern, or words that follow that "DUMda" stress sequence; so in total each line will have 10 syllables since 5 (amount of "feet") times 2 (each "foot" in a line, aka 2 syllables in a line) equals 10 . So yeah, it really isn't too hard but I personally don't use meter in my poetry because I find it unnecessary and stressful. Like each and every line has to be exactly 10 syllables AND they have to follow that emphasis pattern. Anyways I feel like a teacher all of a sudden. 😅✨✍
I never knew it was so much! Well I know now. lol. Ahh, a pun - you find it stressful to use those iambic thingys! I note in my poem now 'format', rather than 'metre', as I too may get too stressed about where to put stress in poems.
I will admit in my ignorance I did not know what a Villanelle is, so I googled it. What and undertaking, and what a wonderful result. I'm able to do simple rhymes, but this goes far beyond, and I love the fact that you are teaching me something new and powerful. Thank you Rocky!
Hey! Thanks so so much for your enthusiastic reply! Also don't worry, you weren't the only one who had to search it up. It's just simply a poetic form! A very fun one as well. I'm very happy to see that you enjoyed my attempt and it's definitely a little new for me as I usually write in free verse, so I'm beyond delighted to see your appreciation! Have a lovely day! 💖
Hell, this is one hell of a Villanelle .. Neville ......................................... 🙂
Oh Neville! You're too kind! Thanks so much for your input, definitely quite the emphatic reply. Have a great day!
💖
I'm really glad you tried your hand at a villanelle. The last one I read was Sylvia Plath, maybe? I LOVE her. Anyway, this was tricky for you, I get that. I understand everything you said in your notes too. All in all, a very good first villanelle!!
Oh thank you so so much Christina! You're really the best! I'm also a COMPLETE Sylvia fanatic and I'd say that it was her villanelles, and in part MPS poets who dabbled into the villanelle form, that inspired me to give it my own go. I'm very happy to see you liked my attempt and it was for sure a challenge. I think the most difficult part about it was not having to find a refrain that will suitably and seamlessly repeat in each stanza, BUT finding words that will complete the rhyme scheme of a villanelle; since they follow a very strict ABA ABA ABA ABA ABAA format. So it's pretty difficult but I'm overjoyed to see you appreciated my first take. Have a good one! 💖
I have to admit that I am not sure that the way I took this is the way it was intended. We are all locked in our own world and trust of anyone outside is difficult at best. We feel that others are incapable of understanding and our own lack of understanding creates an abyss that is impossible to cross. Fear of the unknown creates an impediment to understanding. I may have run amuck but this seems to be a very deep poem. I loved it.
And that right there is the blessing of poetry! The way the same text can impact readers in different ways, and I have to say, that is a great interpretation of the poem. Often times we have to navigate through this chaotic life with many in our opposition, and that is why we have to learn to stay firm and put our foot down. We have to accept that we're not perfect and appreciate our worth. So this villanelle definitely delves into that sensation of the unknown and the dark "abysses" we sometimes find ourselves in, and overall, we need to trust no-one and rely on our gumption and value. So thanks so much for that very shrewd examination of my works. It was my first try on a villanelle so I'm pleased to see you enjoyed it! Have a fantastic day! ✨✍
This was a fantastic visual performance of lyrical art. Love this piece poet!
Thank you kindly fellow poet! I'm very glad to see you enjoyed my poem as I seek to not only entertain but also inspire other readers to connect with their inner-poet and create the unimaginable. So this really lightens my day! Take care! 💖
Must admit, I thought, Villanelle, was the baddy in, KILLING EVE.
Will you be doing another, that is the question?
Well yes that is also true, but in this case I focused more on the poetic form and less about the psycho assassin. Hehe 😅. No but seriously it was really fun to delve into this form and get a little out of the free verse realm, so honestly I may consider doing more of these, if so I'm probably going to center more on imagery and nature. Many thanks for your appreciation! Have a nice day! 👍
Good villanelle composition with reflection on self, this is a worthy thing to be pondered about. We all fall in trap of this social approval and social acceptance trap....but we need to listen to ourselves and care ourselves first then comes the society. Well composed.
Exactly! You perfectly grasped the central theme of this poem. We shouldn't expect for others to "accept" us, because often times it could lead to deception. We believe that they're trustworthy or reliable, but they might exploit us instead. That's why we must always show caution with whom we trust and not befriend everyone who's seemingly friendly. Thanks for your analysis, I really appreciate it. Have a great day! ✨
Very well said. This is a worthy advice. Thanks.
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.