The Toaster

The toasters on the blink.
I don't care, I'm leaving you.
I know you like your toast in the morning, but that's a bit extreme.
I've met someone new.
You never mentioned that last night when you were screaming, more, more.
That was goodbye sex.
I think I'll get a brown toaster.
You would put a brown toaster against a red background.
Hardly your concern now.
I designed this kitchen, you are not getting a brown toaster.
Think I'll change the whole decor when you leave.
That is just typical of you. You just can't wait to forget me.
I think it's for the best, cuddles. Maybe make it my man cave.
That's it, I'm dumping the other guy. I am not having you undo all my good work.
Won't he be devastated.
Who cares. Right, we're going shopping today.
Oops, turned out to be the fuse.
Right, I'm going.
Going where, cuddles.
Back to bed, do not disturb me.
Aw, I was thinking some sympathy sex, maybe get back together sex.
Do not disturb me.
Okay cuddles, I'll pop down to the tailors, get fitted out for your sister's wedding. I'm thinking bright orange, 
Oh my god, stay there, I'm going with you.