Her misshapen breasts were the straightest things about her.
Unlike her personality which corkscrewed wine going out of fashion.
We met on the other side.
In the dead of night.
I was dead, I said goodnight.
She was living on vampire's delight.
Do you want me to go down?
Go down, are you nuts.
Go down and get more wine.
Yeah, you go down and drink yourself to death.
I’ll do that, see you in the a.m.
Great, tell me how I did.
I will.
Seems I did great.
Don’t remember you being naked the last drink I saw you.
I came back for your promise, you made me work for it.
This slag’s been violated, hope you didn’t work too hard.
It was worth it, wine and frustration and masturbation lead to come-sation.
Wish I was there.
You were, to a point, we shared a joint.
Talking about joints, don’t you have one to get back to.
Do you know, you can tell a lot about a man from his wine collection?
You would know, you drank most of it.
Do you fancy doing it in the shower?
Did you see Psycho?
I’ll get us a refill, goodbye sex is so hot.
Goodbye would be hotter.
Is this a good wine, I’ve poured it on my breasts.
What, that’s a hundred pounds a bottle, put it back.
Double pleasure for you when you lick it off.
You don't lick wine like that, you savour it.
Well savour it then, fifty pounds a breast.
Would be cheaper killing her, nobody would miss her anyway.
Is wine a good investment.
It was till I met you.
My dad’s left me some money, he was an oil baron, you know.
When you say oil baron, do you mean he delivered oil.
No, he owned wells in Texas
You’re winding me up.
No, I’m worth a fortune.
Wine is a good investment. We should go back to bed and discuss our future. Things are finally looking up.
-
Author:
Paul Bell (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: March 31st, 2022 04:32
- Category: Humor
- Views: 27
- Users favorite of this poem: Rocky Lagou
Offline)
Comments4
'Do you fancy doing it in the shower?
Did you see Psycho?'
(No! I'm Dead
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
thanks to you,
I'm a percent closer
to dreaming of a six pack)
thank you! dear poet
ahhh, that line killed me
🤣
I, too, dream of a six-pack. Maybe pop down to asda now and get one.
🍻
Wow I love this vampire theme. I mean your poems are always so gritty and real and I enjoy that. Btw I can't help but mention that one line, "come-sation." A witty genius we have.
Should be in the dictionary soon. lol
Cheeky, witty, and irresistibly clever. You've hit the trifecta of excellence. Loved every naughty word!
She's running a brewery now.
.... more cerebral than many might at first imagine .. this has got everything a ghoul could possibly wish for and a few blokes too ....
She was a happy ghoul.
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.