-some 5-7-5 thoughts-

dean langmuir

Know when you read this

that words are on a mission

to rip you apart

 

the skin of the drum

conceals the hollow cadence

waiting for a touch

 

If you don't know,hear

there's a keepsake box within

seek the key that locks

 

In staggered review

I am grateful that I see

you need some caring

 

Music-low enough

to gently wave the inks kiss

paper melodies

 

Scented touch it stirs

grabbing the strings that hide

on bridges to the heart

 

Grateful smiles sipping

the giggles within the wine

teeter off the lip

 

Individuals touch

Bespoke personalities

find your likeminded

  • Author: dean langmuir (Offline Offline)
  • Published: March 31st, 2022 08:48
  • Comment from author about the poem: Had some fun with 575,scheme.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 32
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Comments +

Comments6

  • Rocky Lagou

    I love that line: "paper melodies." Pretty much a perfect epitome of poetry. I love this sensation this poem gives me and it's ripe with emotion.

    • dean langmuir

      Thanks as always Rocky,this 575 format was fun,maybe not Haiku or senryu in context,but fun to write,take care

    • Christina8

      I most like the one about smiles sipping the giggles within the wine. They are all very nice!

      • dean langmuir

        Thank you C,they came out easy,so I thought I would share,take care.

      • Dahlia

        great work!
        enjoyed...
        Dahlia

        • dean langmuir

          Dalhia thank you as always just for reading,I will try not to inflate too much from your kind words,enjoy your day,poet on.

        • Bella Shepard

          I love your many allusions to writing, so cleverly done and with such finesse. Well done, beautiful poem!

          • dean langmuir

            Thank you Bella,I try to be allusive and I must of with this one,I look forward to the next ones I write,take care,poet on.

          • orchidee

            Good 575 format poems Dean.
            I have a shortlist of 'formats' to my hymn-poems. I can let you know one or two - or about ten, if you wish. There's not hundreds of them!

            • dean langmuir

              O that would be great,I have purposely not read poetry before because I didn't want to know anything about it so I wouldn't copy words or style.Now I want to know everything,I really thankyou and all MPS for the comments and am enjoying learning from all you,some of these young poets,blow me a way,what are the years goiing to bring to them.You take care and poet on.

              • orchidee

                OK - some formats (or metres) have names too. Try an easy-ish one of 8.6.8.6. called Common Metre. It may show as 'C.M.' in hymn books.
                Or, and example of a more complicated one is 14.14.4.7.8. Or you can break down the 14's into 6s and 8s, giving 6.8.6.8.4.7.8. Sounds like Bingo! lol.

                • dean langmuir

                  • dean langmuir

                    Thank you O,I will play with these formats and see what happens,you take care.

                  • Eugene S.

                    Enjoyed the series.👍

                    • dean langmuir

                      Eugene thank you for reading,take care and poet on



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